It won’t go away.

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She was the only one in the family who never went to college; she was the only one who had an abortion and had a baby out of wedlock. She alone got divorced and brought shame to the reputable family name. She also had an issue with drugs and hung out with the wrong company.

Her siblings and lived in a world very different from the one she knew. Her parents were embarrassed by her attitude and wondered who could have brought such a strange seed into the family blood line.

Then to put the final icing on the cake, she left home. If she ever thought this will break the heart of her parents then she was very wrong. Her departure was a welcome relief. ‘The plague that soiled the family name was finally wiped off.’ No one missed her; no one cried that evening when everyone came back from church and realized her stuff was gone; she too.

Years later, a shadow was seen in the distance approaching the house with cautious and calculated steps. The autumn sunset could not hide the deep contemplative expression on her face. The front door opened; she could not find it in herself to smile at the faces and eyes that seemed to see through her. But the expression on those faces didn’t encourage her in that direction either.

“Mama, I came back…I’ve changed mama…I’m no longer the same person who left home. I want to be part of the family again….”

The look on mama’s face told her to stop it. She wasn’t welcome back home. She could stay, but she wasn’t welcome.

She had changed indeed. She had put some order in her life. She had swept under the carpet, emptied her closet and dusted the platforms; but for some reason her past kept haunting her. No one wanted to believe in the new version of her. That same cold look on their faces.

Her presence in the house forced a new regime and lifestyle on other members of the family. ‘Don’t leave your purse carelessly around. Lock your room when you go out…’the list goes on.

How she longed to be seen as a normal person. How she yearned to be just another child, mama’s child. Who saw the tears she cried in secret, praying and hoping that they will see how much she had laid down and how much more she had taken up on the road of self-realization.

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“If I could just be forgiven, accepted, loved and trusted then I will show them how much I’ve learned and how much more and want to learn.”

She has changed; she has become a Christian. But for some reason, neither church nor family dare give her a second chance. So where does she go from here?

Those who have given up on you will soon start rewriting their journal entries. Be faithful on the good path you have chosen and do not quit in the face of adversity.

Comments on: "It won’t go away." (5)

  1. Time and patience are important, but we should always remember that God is a loving God, and he wants all of his children to return to him. He is always there to help us when we fall. One of my favorite quotes says: “When we do not quit, we cannot fail.”
    Don’t Give Up!! Take some time to recognize the good things in your life. 🙂
    How has this experience helped you grow as a person?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for reading and contributing.
      I have been through that kind of experience but God in his mercy has changed my life. This post was inspired by events in my past because I thought someone could benefit from this. And I’m sure the comments that have been made will help someone get on their feet again. Bless you.


      • Thanks for the response.. I love that! I truly believe that we can use the experiences that we have in life to help strengthen others. It’s great that you have chosen to do that with your experiences, and I’m glad that you have found that God is merciful to all. Have you found that sharing your story has strengthened you as well? I would love to hear more about it. 🙂


  2. Time can heal all sorts of pain…


    • Yes, you are right. It takes time and patience. And when we get support from those around us it goes a long way to accelerate the healing process.



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