HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Featured image

This post is in response to a request from a fellow blogger and reader based on the last post I published titled “Why I got out of bed this morning”. In this post I said my life took a completely new turn (a positive turn) when God showed me my purpose.

My fellow blogger wanted me to share my experience; how I came to discover my purpose. I will just give a run down of how it all started up till this moment.

The early part of my life was littered with verbal, sexual and physical abuse. I’ve known rejection, disease and acute poverty. This to me was the normal since I didn’t have access to another kind of life.

Due to these conditions I became an adolescent and young woman who suffered immensely from low self-esteem, inferiority complex and insecurities. I hated myself, and the kind of choices I made later in life simply confirmed my state of mind. I became frustrated by my choices and the inability of others to understand what I was going through.

I gave my life to Christ while studying to become a professional teacher. I came to Christ with a heavy load of troubles. My life was meaningless and dirty in my own very eyes.

Although I was envied by many for my academic success, I hated myself so much.

Once in the church, things did not get right immediately. There was a battle for my soul. God had rescued me but the devil wanted me so badly. This opened up the avenue for constant spiritual warfare. Very early on in my Christian journey I learned how to fast, pray and rebuke evil spirits (They were all over me).

I had to seek solutions, and I sought them wherever I thought possible. I attended crusades, bought books and tapes, asked to be prayed for and then fasted and prayed on my own. But this didn’t prove to be the magic wand I expected.

Little did I know that God had destined me to be His servant and that all what I was going through was part of the training for ministry. Sometimes I thought God didn’t care about me. I then wanted to die. I really wanted to end the stress and trauma because that is all my life comprised of.

During the early stages of my conversion I began to have these “strange” dreams and visions wherein I found myself ministering prayer, healing and deliverance to people. I later understood through the teachings I was exposed to that God was showing me my calling. At that stage I didn’t understand much of it.

Also, I once heard a sermon that really shook the foundation of my Christianity and pushed me to seek God deeper. The preacher challenged Christians to stop being those who “sit and watch” while others serve in the church.

I must admit that I didn’t like the way he described those of us who were not in active service in God’s house. I felt a holy anger in me that sent me on my knees asking God what He wanted me to do in His house.

I attended foundation classes for new converts. There, I learned the difference between general service and specialized service. The former is for those who do not yet know their particular area of calling and the latter is for those who already know exactly what God has called them to do.

I was challenged and I began to serve in the church. I have served with the cleaners, the hospitality team; I’ve been a Sunday school teacher, an intercessor, the intercessors’ leader, a member of the women’s ministry among others. Then one day when Pastor was transferred I was asked to assume the interim until a new Pastor was sent to the church.

I learned a lot in these various capacities. This general service established my foundation as a Christian and gave me a base for ministry.

As I continued serving in the church and spending time in intimacy with God He began to show me my area of specialization. This was facilitated by the books I read, tapes I listened to, sermons I heard, other men and women of God I observed, prophecy, and then seminars and workshops I attended.

I never missed any opportunity to attend conferences and seminars even if I had to forgo other needs just to afford the transportation I needed. I was hungry for more of God and He honored my hunger with deeper knowledge about Himself and His call on my life. I always came back from the events enriched and refreshed.

But I still had issues. Only gradually did God take them away one at a time.

I’ll like to cite a few of the resources which among others really helped me during my search.

  1. Your season is getting ready to change by Pastor Paula White (tape).
  2. The Assignment, the Dream and the Destiny by Dr. Mike Murdock (book).
  3. Maximize Your Potential by Dr. Myles Monroe (book).
  4. Tough Times Never Last, but tough people do by Dr. Robert Schuller (book).
  5. The confident woman by Joyce Meyer (book).

I accessed other numerous resources by servants of God like Bishop T.D. Jakes, Arch Bishop Benson Idahosa, just to name these few. (I’ve read a mountain of books and I’ve bought a great number of tapes. I’ve been to so many conferences and I’ve sat down to talk to not a few servants of God).

In the end God made me to understand that He let me go through hell so that I would help others come out of hell. I’m a survivor called to reach out to others and help them survive.

But in all these, God’s grace has been superabundant in my life. I owe it all to His mercy and favor.

If not for His grace, there’s no other reason why I should be alive today.

What I can say is that it takes patience, intimacy with God, the willingness to learn, to sacrifice and endurance, when things seem to go directly opposite to what God had promised you through dreams, visions, prophecy and especially His own Word, the Bible.

I’m still searching and I’m still learning. I agree with the Apostle Paul:

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

I hope and pray someone is inspired by this resume of my testimony to seek God more and to get to know Him in a deeper dimension.

You are blessed in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

Advertisements

Comments on: "HOW I DISCOVERED MY CALLING AND PURPOSE (My Testimony)" (10)

  1. “In the end God made me to understand that He let me go through hell so that I would help others come out of hell. I’m a survivor called to reach out to others and help them survive.” Your testimony is very inspiring. It reminds me that “all things work for the good of those that love the lord and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. May God continue to keep you and bless you.

    Like

  2. I am going through a long season almost identical to what you describe here, I think for the same reason (calling to minister to wounded souls, something the Devil absolutely despises). I would greatly appreciate your prayers if you are willing to give them. I have always found that I grow faster and stay more focused on Jesus when there are more poeple praying for me who are filled with the spirit. My name is Charles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right now I begin to pray for you. I pray that the waters will not overflow you, that the fire will not scorch you, that the wilderness won’t become a cemetery for you, that you will find comfort even in the most trial moments. I pray the Spirit of God will lead you in the right direction and that you will never be distracted or derailed from your purpose, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Although I am following a different path of spirituality, I feel this story speaks to the same type of journey I’ve been on. I believe that all that is good is good, no matter what you pray or who too. You possibly disagree since you are Christian, and I know that is the way of this religion; however the Buddhist path has served me very well. I have grown so much, and I have found so much love and strength in the good, in the Light, within and outside myself.

    Finding that spiritual strength within yourself, struggling to fight for the good within yourself, and following a path of good, is so important in this lifetime here in this plane. This earth has so much opportunity to grow spiritually toward the Light, and also a lot of opportunity to fall away from it. I am so happy that you fought to stay following the Light, the Light that I serve in some sense.

    Love to everyone, even your enemies, as Christ would say: forgiveness is important, help others less fortunate, do good always. Keep being the Light others need to help Light their path to the good they deserve to find, my dear. ❤ Bless you

    Like

  4. This is a beautiful, moving, and insightful testimony. It is especially important for people to realize that you don’t just close your eyes one day, say a prayer, and wake up the next morning with your purpose. God works on your heart, and your life, so that when you do get a clear sense of your calling it makes sense to you and you are ready to serve. Thank you so much for sharing!!

    Liked by 2 people

I CHERISH YOUR OPINION

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: