HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘anxiety’ Category

A season for emotional healing

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Yes, that is what Christmas means to me this year; a season for emotional healing.

This because this year, this particular Christmas season, God has led me to help so many people who are in bondage because of past hurts and wounds incurred in the past.

I have had to help people get up from the fall of financial bankruptcy, disappointments in relationships, broken homes, family strife, divorce and the trauma caused by shameful experiences of the past.

What is your own story? Have you been abused, ostracized, rejected, hated, ridiculed and insulted?

Do not give up on life, there are still good people out there. Do not give up on yourself, you still have much to give out to the world. Do not give up on God, because He will never give up on you.

Yes, someone hurt you in the past. But they do not deserve that you continue suffering for their sake. Face that pain squarely and tell it ” I’m not letting you kill me…I’m bigger than this…I’m not done with life yet…”

Do not take that hurt into the new year. I challenge you to lay it down at the feet of your Savior, Jesus. Dare to speak out…share it with someone who cares. It will lift off some of the pain. Face that person and tell them what they did wasn’t right. If they acknowledge it, good, if not, you would have taken a load off your chest.

Just do something about it.

Shalom, Gretiana

 

 

Experiences and our faith

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One of the things that pose an obstacle to our faith is our past experiences.

You’ve seen it happen before. You’ve been through that hell before.

Now, when God tells you it could be different this time you find it hard to believe because you are haunted by past experiences.

God is always doing a new thing and it is in our own interest to key in to whatever He is doing and not stay prisoners of our past experiences.

Yes, we unavoidably learn from past experiences and they teach us wisdom. But we must never become too wise for God to handle.

When it comes to trusting God, we must let go of any thing that is a hindrance to our faith, including the fear of “it could happen again” in the negative sense of the that expression.

Now, be careful not to fall into the same ditch again, but be careful also not to miss your miracle because of that old ditch.

Get out of that rut you call “my experiences” and live again.

Shalom, Gretiana.

No matter what happens…

Admire people who have been through a lot and still keep their head up. Head Up! Even though you are going through a tough time. This is a must attitude during healing journey. Image credit : Pixabay – PublicDomainPictures

via Quote of the day # 17 : Head Up — Rebellious Scapegoat

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Moving on…not easy but very necessary

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What good can possibly come out of this hell hole?

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Have you ever had to ask yourself this question? Especially when the hell you’re going through doesn’t look like anything positive can possibly come out of there?

Before I met my narcissist partner I was all insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-confidence….and all the lows you can imagine.

In fact I really felt so bad about myself; when he came love-bombing me I thought I’ve got the lever out of hell. He made me feel like a queen. But then, the bomb fell. He showed his hidden colors.

It was like I’d been taken up Mount Everest and then let down to crash into the rocks down the valley. I was in a worse state than he met me. Then I thought “If I do what he wants, he’ll stay and be the man he used to be”. All my efforts where but in vain.

Then the therapy started. I started searching for help; what kind of man can possible do this to a woman. Then I discovered narcissism. I studied it; I dissected it and labeled its parts. And then I knew the disease I’ve been suffering from.

When the diagnosis is correct, there is hope yet for the victim.

I’ve been on the healing journey and I just want to let the world know this;

  • I’ve been healed of more than just the narcissistic abuse. Learning to get over it has helped me to build my self-confidence, self-worth and a sense of purpose and direction in life.
  • I know what I want and I’m ready to go for it. I won’t settle for less.
  • I’ve learned to take care of myself: feeding, dressing, relationships, relaxation…I really feel stronger and more confident than ever before.

He took me up Mount Everest and let me come crashing down. Once I had my back on the ground, I had no other option but to start a slow but steady climb to victory. I love the new me; I just love it here where I am.

Thank you Mr. narcissist. What you meant for evil, God has turned it for my good.

I choose to walk away

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I choose to walk away

Away from the past, its hurts, pains and shame

I choose to walk away from the choices I made in the past

Choices that seemed so logical and beneficial

I opt for change, the willingness to embrace the future I do not yet see

I choose to part with my own understanding, the one that let me into that mess

I will depart from myself, the self that I trusted but got disappointed.

I’ve discovered a new me, a me that so pleases me

And I won’t let anything take that away from me.

 

 

The year of the Narc.

Yes, I’ll call it the year of the Narc because he had his year in my life.

He came in, got what he wanted and walked away leaving me in utter shreds. He knew how to go about his business with tact and expertise. He bombed into my life like a meteor, showed me paradise and then took it away before I had the time to take a second bite. I was the queen of the season, the most sought after, the one and only desirable…then  I began to dream big dreams and to see a great future, but like the mirage he’s always been, he vanished into the distance, leaving me in a state of despair to figure out for myself what the hell was going on in my world.

Then one day I stumbled on a blog that had everything to say about narcissists. I began to understand why I’ve always felt so lonely, not good enough; why I compromised so much and got so little; why  I was called names, mocked and despised no matter how much effort I put in. I understood why he will choose to stay away for months when we had a hard talk; why he will continue to stay away even when I cried, begged, repented and promised to change just for him. (I stopped worshiping God and worshiped him instead)

But all this while he knew what he was up to. While I was perplexed and bewildered, he was playing his game and having fun. While I spent sleepless nights he was out there probably with “new supply”. Yes, Kim Saeed, your blog saved my life.

I went for “no contact”; failed once, twice and then thrice…because I kept thinking of the golden days and the possibility of having them back.

But one day I decided I’d had enough of tears for breakfast, lunch and supper. I took the great leap for good. That’s why I can now tell the story. That’s why I now help other women to see the light and leave the dark.

It was the year of the Narc. But God kept me through it so I can tell this story today. Narcissism is a terrible thing to endure. It hurts to the deepest parts of your being. Run for your life and let God help them if He would.

This is my experience during twelve months of hell on earth. I hope you never have to live there too.

What’s that label you carry?

You do not have to accept that tag, that label, that name life has given you.

You can shake it off and get for yourself one that fits your taste and that looks like what you want to be called.

God can peel off that label for you and give you a brand new one tailored after His plan and purpose for your life.

Do not live your life behind the very label you hate. Shake it off. You deserve better than that.

 

 

 

The Anatomy of self-doubt

Do you find it hard to trust yourself? Are you scared of taking decisions because you’re afraid to make mistakes and bear the consequences?

Self-doubt is a thief who will steal your joy, your sense of self-worth and self-confidence; it will keep you in a stupor too fearful to try things out and discover their outcome.

Self–doubt immobilizes you with fear. You dread taking risks because you do not want to fail.

But the truth is, in life we can’t achieve much without stepping out to try things out and then see what we get at the end of the road. We only have to trust God at such moments to lead and guide us in the right direction, and to bring us back on track when we go astray.

What are some of the things that provoke self-doubt?

  • You’ve messed up too many times in life and you’re afraid to mess up another time. You prefer to play it safe this time.
  • You’ve been disappointed so often; you’d rather be careful.
  • You’ve been hurt too much; you won’t let it happen to you again; your guards are always up.
  • You’ve often been told you’re no good; you now belief it’s true. You don’t want to confirm that ugly report.
  • The devil is plaguing you with the spirit of fear and dread. You are under captivity and you need deliverance.
  • You just hate trying out new things; you’re the comfort zone kind of person.

Self-doubt in itself is not bad, especially the kind that pushes you to ask questions, try out new recipes and do research to find answers. This can actually lead to self-improvement which we all need.

What I’m talking about here is the kind of negative, tormenting self-doubt that makes you to devalue yourself and to doubt your own capability at achieving anything great.

When we understand that God has promised never to leave us or abandon us, that He will not be very angry with us for messing us, that He will readily take us back and continue to love us even when we’ve made mistakes, we will be more willing to take bold steps and to leap forward, counting on Him to see us through.

So what is the cure for self-doubt?

Trust that God knows your doubt and that He’s ready to give you answers when you ask him questions. Trust that He will faithfully guide and lead you along the way. Trust that Christ in you is wisdom, power and a sound mind.

Good luck to you all as you take bold steps and great leaps forward achieve great things in this year 2016.

Not yet, but yet…

I’m alive yet,

I’m not where I want to be yet,

I haven’t quit yet,

I’ve not failed yet.

He’s never too late

Pharaoh may think he got you in his grip,

But rest assured your God is never too late,

He’s always right on time,

Trust Him still,

Your Red Sea Miracle is right ahead.

I cry

 

I cry for them

For those out there who weep alone

Alone in the dark

Alone because there’s no one to listen

And even when they get listened to

They are misunderstood, judged, labeled and classified.

 

It’s O K not to be O K

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It’s O K not to be O K,

I won’t keep trying to prove I’m O K

When I’m not O K

Because it won’t help me to be O K.

Do not make your grave in the valley of doubt

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Change does not always bring change until you decide to change

These thoughts are based strictly on my own experiences and what I’ve observed in our society today.

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Prison does not take away criminality. It is the decision we take while in prison that will change us.

Having kids will not make me love children. If I love them first I will love them better when I  get in there.

Getting married does not make us mature and responsible. It could become an avenue for us to prove our immaturity and irresponsibility.

Changing the man at the top won’t solve the bankruptcy unless you understand what caused it in the first place.

Marriage can’t heal me from lust, frivolousness and unfaithfulness or porn. I must decide to “deal with it”.

Getting a new partner won’t heal the old wounds. I better get healed before I make Peter pay for what Paul did.

Cutting a tree at the trunk won’t kill it. Get to the roots, roll your sleeves and dig.

I hope I didn’t mess up your case. This post is addressed to me too, you know.

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