HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘bipolar’ Category

The Anatomy of self-doubt

Do you find it hard to trust yourself? Are you scared of taking decisions because you’re afraid to make mistakes and bear the consequences?

Self-doubt is a thief who will steal your joy, your sense of self-worth and self-confidence; it will keep you in a stupor too fearful to try things out and discover their outcome.

Self–doubt immobilizes you with fear. You dread taking risks because you do not want to fail.

But the truth is, in life we can’t achieve much without stepping out to try things out and then see what we get at the end of the road. We only have to trust God at such moments to lead and guide us in the right direction, and to bring us back on track when we go astray.

What are some of the things that provoke self-doubt?

  • You’ve messed up too many times in life and you’re afraid to mess up another time. You prefer to play it safe this time.
  • You’ve been disappointed so often; you’d rather be careful.
  • You’ve been hurt too much; you won’t let it happen to you again; your guards are always up.
  • You’ve often been told you’re no good; you now belief it’s true. You don’t want to confirm that ugly report.
  • The devil is plaguing you with the spirit of fear and dread. You are under captivity and you need deliverance.
  • You just hate trying out new things; you’re the comfort zone kind of person.

Self-doubt in itself is not bad, especially the kind that pushes you to ask questions, try out new recipes and do research to find answers. This can actually lead to self-improvement which we all need.

What I’m talking about here is the kind of negative, tormenting self-doubt that makes you to devalue yourself and to doubt your own capability at achieving anything great.

When we understand that God has promised never to leave us or abandon us, that He will not be very angry with us for messing us, that He will readily take us back and continue to love us even when we’ve made mistakes, we will be more willing to take bold steps and to leap forward, counting on Him to see us through.

So what is the cure for self-doubt?

Trust that God knows your doubt and that He’s ready to give you answers when you ask him questions. Trust that He will faithfully guide and lead you along the way. Trust that Christ in you is wisdom, power and a sound mind.

Good luck to you all as you take bold steps and great leaps forward achieve great things in this year 2016.

If It’s worth it…

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No matter how hard it gets,

No matter how hard the decision,

No matter what you must give up,

No matter how much you need to take up,

If it’s worth it, then do it.

Sometimes the best things are waiting

On the other side of the turbulent river.

It’s O K not to be O K

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It’s O K not to be O K,

I won’t keep trying to prove I’m O K

When I’m not O K

Because it won’t help me to be O K.

Why I got out of bed this morning

Some years back I was hopeless, lost and suicidal.

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Then I asked God why He ever suffered me to live on the earth.

He showed me my purpose and His plan for my life.

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And then I began to live.

I live to give hope to the hopeless.

I live to heal broken hearts and wounded souls.

That is my purpose.

When is it safe to say “Yes”?

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In one of my recent posts I argued that it is wise to be able to say “No” sometimes. In this post I want to examine some of the conditions that could inspire a “yes”.

It’s important to say “No”, but it’s even more important to know when to say “yes” so that we don’t miss out on important opportunities in life.

Say yes when:

  • You’ve prayed about the issue at hand and you have peace about it.

You don’t feel any resistance; like your head is saying one thing and your heart is saying another.

  • You know it’s the will of God and the timing is correct.

It could be something He promised you, but be sure about the timing.

  • It’s not against your faith-based convictions;

You don’t want to spoil your intimacy with God, if you are a Christian.

  • It’s beneficial for someone or some people in need at that moment.

It could be unwise to get on your knees to ask God’s permission when you’re needed to save a soul in danger. You rather ask for His guidance.

  • You are not out to impress someone or to prove yourself to someone.

If you don’t get the desired applause in the end you could easily sink into depression.

  • You know that’s what you need at the moment;

a party, a change of environment, a change of job, a new relationship etc. This also means you are ready for it, physically, emotionally… Otherwise you could give a “no” or “wait”.

Don’t take important decisions when under pressure.

  • It’s safe for you, your entourage, and the world at large.

We must not be selfish when we make decisions. And we should care for ourselves because “when we hurt, others hurt with us”.

  • The decision does not go contrary to your purpose and objectives in life. You don’t want to get pregnant just before you get enrolled in College (for a single young lady).

This list is in no way exhaustive, but only indicative.

“On your marks, get set, YES.

 

 

Unable to say “NO”? check your motives

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You’re afraid of hurting people; you’re a people-pleaser.

  • You want to be loved and accepted.
  • The false doctrine that says love never says “No”.
  • You crave to be applauded and appreciated.
  • You are simply complying to and perpetuating a tradition.
  • You’re under peer pressure.
  • You lack the courage to stand alone and be different.

The inability to say “No” could have negative consequences that far out-weigh the above motives for saying “Yes”.

No matter how good you are you will never be able to please everybody, so stop trying.

Let wisdom guide you to say a polite “NO” and a courageous “Yes” as the need arises.

The hardest thing I ever did in my life was try to please everybody; and I failed.

 

Do you often have difficulties in saying “No”? What are your reasons?

What’s that voice in your head?

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Why are you thinking the way you are thinking now?

Why are you acting like that now?

Why did you just take that strange decision which is very unlike yourself?

  • You think God’s attitude towards you has changed because of some short-coming in you or a mistake you made.
  • or you think you are unworthy of love and appreciation because you’re too far down the drain.
  • The situation at hand looks so overwhelming that you’ve stopped seeing the “Almightiness” of God and are seeing the “almightiness” of your stuff instead.
  • Some devil is whispering some nasty stuff into your ear and you’re beginning to believe it.
  • Some nay-sayer is speaking negativism into your mind and it’s taking its toll on you.
  • You’ve seen another person perish because of the same situation and you don’t see how you’re going to escape it yourself.
  • You happen to believe you’re the only person going through such a crisis. You feel very exceptionally unfortunate.
  • You want God to see how unfair He’s been to you. You want to draw His attention to your plight.

Well, some of these reasons look very appealing but none of these will get you any positive result.

Do you know what God did when He saw Elijah in that kind of a sulk? He gave him food to eat and then sent him on yet another mission.

Rather than sit there and sulk, ask of Him the strength to carry on.

Just manage to go out there and be good to someone, even if you need it more, even if they don’t deserve it.

He won’t even allow you to die if He decides that He still needs you on planet earth.

Cheer up. It’s not over yet.

Bring it out and deal with it…

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What’s hidden beneath your dress?

Bring it out and deal with it.

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What’s that mask you’re wearing just now?

Pull it off and deal with it.

The monster you don’t confront

You can’t defeat.

When darkness reaches out for my soul…

When darkness like an invisible hand

Reaches out for my soul

When I cry for help

But my agony seems to fall

Very so often on deaf ears

Or ears that know not how to handle

When I feel like giving up on life itself

Because the road seems too dark and lonesome

And none but me tread such slimy path,

Then I remember that my Lord knows it all

He wants me well and whole and happy

He sees each tear that wets my cheek

And treads that lonesome path with me

Though I may not see him with eyes wide open

I know He is there because He promised to be

And then I find the strength to get along

Because Daddy is right there with me and for me

I will break into a new song and praise

For though my cheeks are wet with tears

My heart is warm with love unchanging

Thank you Daddy for being there for me.

The Gentleman who didn’t care about make up

THE HEALING ARENA

A gentleman so fair and fun
Asked me out for a date and more
Just the kind of man I’ve longed for
Praying and hoping and wishing he came.

But then I began to think and consider
What will he say about this scar?
What about the bruises I still carry?
I look really awful and out of shape.

I searched around for some to help
Shopped and hoped he liked my look
I made-up, I cut down and wore some masked too
I entered his presence thinking ‘I did my best.’

My Lover looked at me in the face
Not with admiration but full compassion
Then He shed a tear that took me aback
He saw my confusion and then spoke out.

“My sweet, sweet little girl,
I know just what you’ve been up against
You need not hide the scars or bruises
They cannot destroy that beauty I…

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The Gentleman who didn’t care about make up

A gentleman so fair and fun
Asked me out for a date and more
Just the kind of man I’ve longed for
Praying and hoping and wishing he came.

But then I began to think and consider
What will he say about this scar?
What about the bruises I still carry?
I look really awful and out of shape.

I searched around for some to help
Shopped and hoped he liked my look
I made-up, I cut down and wore some masked too
I entered his presence thinking ‘I did my best.’

My Lover looked at me in the face
Not with admiration but full compassion
Then He shed a tear that took me aback
He saw my confusion and then spoke out.

“My sweet, sweet little girl,
I know just what you’ve been up against
You need not hide the scars or bruises
They cannot destroy that beauty I put in you
I love you just as you are.
Never try to earn my love another day
I love you, I love you, I love you
My sweet, sweet little girl.

DARE TO SPEAK OUT

Do you dread speaking out about some of the things that have happened to you? You do not need to carry that secret load alone all your life. These are some of the fears that keep people in their dark silent prison for years.

  1. Perhaps God is already angry with me and if I go ahead to talk about it He will reject me.

Jesus came for the lost, the last and the least (Matthew 9:12). God did not wait for you to be worthy before He sent Jesus to die for you.

  1. If I told somebody, they will laugh at me for having been so dumb and stupid.

The fact is every body has done dumb things at least once in life and the person laughing at you may be having their own skeletons in the cupboard.

Jesus came for the lost, the last and the least (Matthew 9:12). God loves you even when you are still in your mess (Romans 5:8).

  1. I might be rejected by my family and friends

Well, anyone who will not accept your past is not qualified to access your future. God is taking you somewhere; do not let that ancient load hold you back.

  1. I do not want to think about it.

The ostrich option has never worked for any one. The monster you face is the monster you will overcome. Look at that thing in the face and tell it “I am too anointed to keep running away from you. I hail from the Lion of the tribe of Judah.

  1. I don’t want to lose my hard-earned reputation.

You better speak out with the right perspective before someone tells your story for you with a distorted view. Lasting reputation comes from God and He gives it without consulting the ancient file. I have worn masked in my life and I tell you they are not comfortable at all.

  1. I will be stigmatized and ostracized by my community etc.

Yes, I do not make light of that fact. It can be hard. But sometimes we just have to choose to be the pioneer and face the consequences. By speaking out, you are giving a voice to thousands of others in your generation and the generations to come.

But this is the advice I can give. If you want to share and you are not sure you have had the emotional healing you need, you will have to carefully choose the person you share with. It could help to share with mature and responsible people, God-fearing people who can handle your situation responsibly. This is because if you are still hurting and you go share with people who will want to use it to hurt you the more, it could really make the wounds more painful. Those who are already healed will not mind what anybody does with that information because when Jesus heals you He immunizes you against further hurts.

I FEEL EMPTY AFTER IT ALL

Life can feel very empty at times and people are constantly looking for ways to fill the emptiness in their lives. In spite of all their efforts to live fulfilled lives, they keep coming up against that concrete wall of frustration.

Have you been thinking been asking yourself what is the essence of life? Perhaps life makes no sense to you. You are seeking for the happiness you see in others and you desperately want some joy. Your hopes have suddenly vanished in a car accident, a fire incidence or a job loss. Are you mourning the death of a dear one? Are you tired of congratulating others and never being congratulated in return? Perhaps you have all the things that you think can make you happy, yet that nagging feeling of emptiness remains.

You have tried drugs and alcohol as a means of drowning your hopelessness; you have on porn and indiscriminate sexual relationships but no cure. Maybe you tried sports and clubs, shopping sprees and lavish spending to get fame and a name. You even tried religion too. You have been to church, to the mosque and you are meditated with Buddhists in monasteries on hill tops.

I have good news for you. Stop trying to fix it all alone. You do not have to carry that burden alone. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 to bring all your cares, worries, frustrations and fears to Him. Such a load is too heavy for you; He has a lighter load and an easier burden for you. Hand it over to Him and watch Him replace it with peace, joy and a new desire to reach for the moon. Give your broken pieces to the potter and He will know what quality of vessel to bring out of it.

Make up your mind to go beyond religion. Go for relationship. You cannot get peace and joy from the respect of man-made laws and rituals. A once-in-a-while stop over in church will not help you. Go deeper with God and know His will for your life. Read His Word (the Bible) and know what He has in store for you. Then hold onto it, believe it and confess it and you will see it come to pass in your life.

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