HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘hurting’ Category

Moving on or moving away?

forgive

Sometimes, we have to move away physically for our hearts to heal.

At other times, we just stay on but let our hearts move on in forgiveness.

Sometimes the pain goes away.

At other times we learn to live victoriously in spite of the pain.

We can’t run away from every monster in life. Sometimes you have to kill that monster and take back your treasure.

A season for emotional healing

reunion

 

 

Yes, that is what Christmas means to me this year; a season for emotional healing.

This because this year, this particular Christmas season, God has led me to help so many people who are in bondage because of past hurts and wounds incurred in the past.

I have had to help people get up from the fall of financial bankruptcy, disappointments in relationships, broken homes, family strife, divorce and the trauma caused by shameful experiences of the past.

What is your own story? Have you been abused, ostracized, rejected, hated, ridiculed and insulted?

Do not give up on life, there are still good people out there. Do not give up on yourself, you still have much to give out to the world. Do not give up on God, because He will never give up on you.

Yes, someone hurt you in the past. But they do not deserve that you continue suffering for their sake. Face that pain squarely and tell it ” I’m not letting you kill me…I’m bigger than this…I’m not done with life yet…”

Do not take that hurt into the new year. I challenge you to lay it down at the feet of your Savior, Jesus. Dare to speak out…share it with someone who cares. It will lift off some of the pain. Face that person and tell them what they did wasn’t right. If they acknowledge it, good, if not, you would have taken a load off your chest.

Just do something about it.

Shalom, Gretiana

 

 

Experiences and our faith

self doubt

 

One of the things that pose an obstacle to our faith is our past experiences.

You’ve seen it happen before. You’ve been through that hell before.

Now, when God tells you it could be different this time you find it hard to believe because you are haunted by past experiences.

God is always doing a new thing and it is in our own interest to key in to whatever He is doing and not stay prisoners of our past experiences.

Yes, we unavoidably learn from past experiences and they teach us wisdom. But we must never become too wise for God to handle.

When it comes to trusting God, we must let go of any thing that is a hindrance to our faith, including the fear of “it could happen again” in the negative sense of the that expression.

Now, be careful not to fall into the same ditch again, but be careful also not to miss your miracle because of that old ditch.

Get out of that rut you call “my experiences” and live again.

Shalom, Gretiana.

Lord, if it be your will take this away…

brokenness

 

If you’ve never been there, then you’re never going to really understand what is at stake in their life; so why not just pray for them and leave it at that?

Why not just hold back that comment and observe instead?

They may not be as complacent as you think.

They may be spending sleepless nights over it.

They may be in the middle of a fast because of it.

They might have begged God a hundred times to take that thing away.

Perhaps they’ve got their lessons to learn;

Perhaps it’s a thorn in their flesh they have to live with;

Perhaps their faith is being tried;

Perhaps….God alone knows why.

Do not put that label on them;

Do not make that conclusion you are about to make;

Do not judge, categorize and condemn.

Rather, ask from God the wisdom and discernment to see beyond the physical,

Then you may begin to understand what they are having to endure.

 

 

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Never become too spiritual for God to handle

Tell God

No matter what happens…

Admire people who have been through a lot and still keep their head up. Head Up! Even though you are going through a tough time. This is a must attitude during healing journey. Image credit : Pixabay – PublicDomainPictures

via Quote of the day # 17 : Head Up — Rebellious Scapegoat

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Moving on…not easy but very necessary

wrong people

What good can possibly come out of this hell hole?

my pictures (3)

Have you ever had to ask yourself this question? Especially when the hell you’re going through doesn’t look like anything positive can possibly come out of there?

Before I met my narcissist partner I was all insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-confidence….and all the lows you can imagine.

In fact I really felt so bad about myself; when he came love-bombing me I thought I’ve got the lever out of hell. He made me feel like a queen. But then, the bomb fell. He showed his hidden colors.

It was like I’d been taken up Mount Everest and then let down to crash into the rocks down the valley. I was in a worse state than he met me. Then I thought “If I do what he wants, he’ll stay and be the man he used to be”. All my efforts where but in vain.

Then the therapy started. I started searching for help; what kind of man can possible do this to a woman. Then I discovered narcissism. I studied it; I dissected it and labeled its parts. And then I knew the disease I’ve been suffering from.

When the diagnosis is correct, there is hope yet for the victim.

I’ve been on the healing journey and I just want to let the world know this;

  • I’ve been healed of more than just the narcissistic abuse. Learning to get over it has helped me to build my self-confidence, self-worth and a sense of purpose and direction in life.
  • I know what I want and I’m ready to go for it. I won’t settle for less.
  • I’ve learned to take care of myself: feeding, dressing, relationships, relaxation…I really feel stronger and more confident than ever before.

He took me up Mount Everest and let me come crashing down. Once I had my back on the ground, I had no other option but to start a slow but steady climb to victory. I love the new me; I just love it here where I am.

Thank you Mr. narcissist. What you meant for evil, God has turned it for my good.

I choose to walk away

evidence building 3

I choose to walk away

Away from the past, its hurts, pains and shame

I choose to walk away from the choices I made in the past

Choices that seemed so logical and beneficial

I opt for change, the willingness to embrace the future I do not yet see

I choose to part with my own understanding, the one that let me into that mess

I will depart from myself, the self that I trusted but got disappointed.

I’ve discovered a new me, a me that so pleases me

And I won’t let anything take that away from me.

 

 

The year of the Narc.

Yes, I’ll call it the year of the Narc because he had his year in my life.

He came in, got what he wanted and walked away leaving me in utter shreds. He knew how to go about his business with tact and expertise. He bombed into my life like a meteor, showed me paradise and then took it away before I had the time to take a second bite. I was the queen of the season, the most sought after, the one and only desirable…then  I began to dream big dreams and to see a great future, but like the mirage he’s always been, he vanished into the distance, leaving me in a state of despair to figure out for myself what the hell was going on in my world.

Then one day I stumbled on a blog that had everything to say about narcissists. I began to understand why I’ve always felt so lonely, not good enough; why I compromised so much and got so little; why  I was called names, mocked and despised no matter how much effort I put in. I understood why he will choose to stay away for months when we had a hard talk; why he will continue to stay away even when I cried, begged, repented and promised to change just for him. (I stopped worshiping God and worshiped him instead)

But all this while he knew what he was up to. While I was perplexed and bewildered, he was playing his game and having fun. While I spent sleepless nights he was out there probably with “new supply”. Yes, Kim Saeed, your blog saved my life.

I went for “no contact”; failed once, twice and then thrice…because I kept thinking of the golden days and the possibility of having them back.

But one day I decided I’d had enough of tears for breakfast, lunch and supper. I took the great leap for good. That’s why I can now tell the story. That’s why I now help other women to see the light and leave the dark.

It was the year of the Narc. But God kept me through it so I can tell this story today. Narcissism is a terrible thing to endure. It hurts to the deepest parts of your being. Run for your life and let God help them if He would.

This is my experience during twelve months of hell on earth. I hope you never have to live there too.

From the storm came a great peace

 

Something wonderful happened to me this week.

The Lord told me to forgive some people who’ve hurt me so badly

and to go meet them and pray for them.

You could think it’s that easy, but I spent a sleepless night just imagining

how I will have to go down to those people who owe me

apologies, tell them I forgive them, then pray for them.

But I finally swallowed my pride and timidity and did just that.

When I began to pray with one of them, she just broke down to tears…especially when I

mentioned that I’m releasing her from the prison of my heart so that she can get blessed.

I just realized how much hurt I had been causing by keeping them in the prison of my heart.

At the end of it all, I felt so good, free and joyous. They too.

I challenge you to do same. Do not hold that person in the prison cell of your heart any longer. Do not even wait for God to say so.

Release them, pray for them and you will get blessed yourself.

It’s good to know God is not keeping someone in bondage because I, His servant have refused to forgive them.

Remember Jesus said, whom we forgive He will forgive too.

It takes courage and much more…

When you’ve been abused, mistreated, used and dumped

It takes courage, the willingness to forgive

And the desire to live again

To give out your heart another time.

That’s why we must never exert pressure on people

To open up their hearts to us.

We deserve openness and genuineness in every relationship

But we must give people the time to change,

To heal and to willingly open up again.

Trying to force it out of them can be counter  productive

NO matter how much you love them and want to be with them

Just be gentle enough to let them loosen up naturally and at a  pace

That is comfortable for them.

They may really be in love,

But still needing time to get on the rails

Do not be impatient when they seem reticent

Let the rose unfold naturally.

Love and Blessing, Gretiana

 

Two broken hearts

They love each other

But they are too afraid

To let give in to each other

To express that feeling that’s burning inside.

They’ve loved before

And got hurt in the process

They are afraid to get hurt again

So they’ve become too careful

Too careful to give it away.

And they end up hurting each other,

Because they don’t want to be hurt again.

Not yet, but yet…

I’m alive yet,

I’m not where I want to be yet,

I haven’t quit yet,

I’ve not failed yet.

Share with someone this season

They may not deserve it but they need it.

Merry Christmas to you all.

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