HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘inspirational’ Category

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

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Thank you for making me a blogger

I look back and I see a mountain of love, a room full of care

I’m speechless…you’ve been so wonderful all year round

You may not know it, but because of you I’m called a blogger

I’m a writer because you are the reader

You amazed me with you faithfulness

Your support kept me going

I always found the strength to come back

Because I knew you were waiting

Expecting yet another post

So I found the courage to come back

Even when I had to crawl on my belly

A big thank you to all my followers, readers, friends…

You made my year and I just want to say THANK YOU..DANKE…MERCI…

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he…

Have you ever heard yourself asking that kind of question? It happens at times that we get embarrassed by our own words and actions. Perhaps you meant well, but before you knew it you blew it and shamed yourself. Then you gave yourself a tag and started behaving like the label you gave yourself.

What motivates your choices in life? That could hold a clue to the reason why you keep acting the way you do.
The way you see yourself is very instrumental in determining the kind of decisions you make in life. If you see yourself as good, talented, cute and useful it will be reflected in your dress code, speech, the neighborhood you prefer and the kind of company you keep.

A person who thinks they are silly, dumb and good at nothing will act exactly that way. It will be reflected in the way they walk, talk and carry themselves. The kind of stuff you buy for yourself, the man you date, your dressing and eating habits all point to the way you see yourself.

It all begins in the mind. When you change your mind you will change your actions and you will change your life.
If you find yourself always going in for the cheap and ugly stuff, even when you could afford something better, it may be a sign that you have a bad self-image. You think that is all you deserve. You think the good things in life are meant for everyone else except you.

Take care of yourself. You have just one life to live. Like the desiderata says, “you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here…”

HARD TO PLEASE? DEAL WITH IT NOW.

When I look back on my life I discover that the time I was the hardest to please coincides with the time I hated myself the most. What is the relationship between these two realities?

If you do not like yourself, nobody else will be able to make you do it and you will be rather hard to please. Why do people hate themselves so?

  1. Long exposure to negative feedback. When people keep hitting it home that you are no good, you could end up accepting it and that will define the way you see yourself.
  2. Lack of positive feedback and appreciation for efforts you invest. When no one ever tells you it was well done you could start thinking you never do anything worth encouraging.
  3. Your best efforts always seem to produce the most mediocre results. You must find out what you are good at and excel therein. You can’t get your best grades in an area you are not gifted in.
  4. The kind of things that happened to you in the past. You might have messed up much too often. But remember, we all do mess up sometimes.
  5. Disabilities that make you look and feel different. This could be very tough, but not impossible to overcome. You need God’s grace for this one. God can enable you to love yourself in spite of any disability you carry.

                                                                                                                                                          

When faced with self-hatred, we must not blame anyone for our condition. This will only lead to bitterness and that is not good either, for our emotional stability.

It will be an error to try to use our relationships as a means of finding happiness. Strive to get happy as an individual. If you want to get it out of others you might become too demanding and more difficult to please.

Don’t use other people’s successes and achievements as a means to your own happiness. They might no longer be there tomorrow and you will find yourself sinking even lower.

From my own experience I can tell you that getting a lot of stuff around you doesn’t help. A new house, a new car etc. will help you but only for a season.

Ask yourself if you can really be happy if all the stuff were taken away from you. If the answer is yes, then you are happy indeed, or let me say you are experiencing joy.

What do I do then?

  • Ask God to show you your intrinsic value. There is something about you that when you discover you will begin to sing, and then you will never stop singing ever.
  • Develop your potentials and become a blessing to others. There is great joy in giving. When you live your life helping others you will hardly get depressed.
  • Find out your weaknesses and accept them. Stop trying to wipe away your weaknesses by your efforts. If you fail you could become more depressed. Acknowledge them, bring them to God and leave them there.
  • Read the kind of books that will build up your self-image. Avoid going to places and being with people that speak negativity, that always try to bring you down.

Be happy apart from them, then you will be happy with them.

When you get into a relationship it should be to share what you have, not to get what you want.

TOO EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED? IT’S TIME TO GET GOING.

Life is made up of times and seasons. We are called upon to move on from one place, situation and level to another. This will happen to each one of us from time to time. There are moments of transition and there are new challenges and targets to handle all the times.

We can’t grow, make progress or even succeed in life if we get stuck in one position.
The problem with people like me is that we often get too emotionally attached to some situations that are meant to be only temporary; a job, a mentor, a habitation etc. It becomes difficult to let go and keep going when it’s time to break camp and advance.

In my own experience, God has dealt with this issue in my life in a number of ways:
A. He sometimes provokes a conflict that will then end up kicking me out of my comfort zone.
B. He sometimes incites people to reject and hate me outright. This is usually when I insist on holding unto a dead end- a relationship that has come to its natural end.
c. I have had situations where I was moved to hate an environment; this as preparation for me to move to a new location. Isn’t it amazing that the things that you loved and cherished yesterday have become simply unbearable to you today? Perhaps it’s time to move on.

 Now, let’s be very careful here. There are things you are not permitted to move on from. You can’t just move on from your marriage, spouse and kids because you no longer feel like staying on. You will be hurting a whole lot of people and bringing more disorder and pain in society. You can’t move on from your assignment because things have become too tough. God calls us for life, not for ‘as long as it feels good’.

 Sometimes the movement is not necessarily physical. It might be emotional or psychological; you may have to stop engaging in a certain activity, dressing in a particular style or treating someone in a particular manner. For instance, when your children become adolescents you move on from the way to used to talk to them when they were just little kids.

 Remember, there is no promotion without movement (physical or mental). If you resist moving on when it is the time to do so you could miss out on what God wants to do in your life for that season. You could then be stuck on one spot all your life.
On your marks, get set, move…

“Yes, you can”: “No, you can’t”…Strike a balance

Yes, you can.

  • Just believe in yourself and you’ll get there.
  • There’s nothing in the world that can stop you from getting there.
  • Dream big and you’ll achieve big.

No, you can’t.

  • You’re not the right color.
  • You’re too short.
  • It’s too costly for you.

Strike a balance.

  • It’s possible, but you have to get so talented no one will notice your color but only your talent.
  • You can do it, but be ready to jump higher than the tallest fellow on the pitch.
  • You can afford it, but be ready to cut down on your expenditure and forgo a lot of stuff you would normally want to buy.

Yes, you can; but be ready to roll your sleeves and get to work, whatever work entails for you (studying, connecting, investing, praying, fasting, sowing etc).

Asking for and receiving help: How good are you at it?

Do you feel comfortable asking for help? Do you with ease receive and appreciate help from others?

Let’s share our experiences in this area.

If your answer to the above questions is no, then read on as we examine some of the reasons why people feel uncomfortable with this.

  • You’ve always done it your way. You don’t want another person’s way out.
  • You’re used to doing it alone. You prefer the solo route.
  • You once asked for it and were rejected; you’re scared of rejection.
  • You’re too proud to admit you need help.
  • You think asking for help is a sign of weakness and insufficiency.
  • You have a false sense of responsibility; you don’t want to inconvenience anyone.
  • You don’t want to have to pay for it one day; you don’t like helping others yourself.
  • You just don’t know how to ask for help. You walk down to the fellow and then you walk pass them tongue-tight.
  • You don’t know how to receive and appreciate help; you’re afraid to mess up.

Whatever your own reason may be it is important to get to the root of it and get over it.

It feels very miserable to be in need of something someone wants to offer, yet be held back from asking for any reason whatsoever.

The world is full of people who want to help you. Do not shut them out of your life. Give them the opportunity to experience the joy of giving.

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