HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

“Is she married?”

 

Is she married? That’s the question that follows when a woman has proven beyond every doubt that she is capable of beating a man in a particular area of specialty. If the answer is “no”, the facial expressions immediately change; some people, both men and women will immediately put a cross on whatever she’s achieved.

It’s rather unfortunate that in our world some people still believe that a single lady deserves no respect no matter how many medals, trophies or epaulettes she’s been able to get for herself. They see the woman’s greatness only as an appendix to a man in her life.

What if the greatness in me is what is actually scaring the men away? What if all the men that ever came my way end up feeling inferior and insecure because they can’t handle the greatness in me?

Should I deny who I am in order to get married? Must I denounce my talent and gifting in order to be taken to the altar?

If a man won’t accept me with my greatness then he isn’t worth a minute of my time. I want a man who can call out the greatness in me; a man who will challenge me to do even greater exploits. I don’t need some creeping thing behind me that’s always trying to pull me down with negative comments because they want me to come down to their level.

It’s better to be great and single than to be married and mediocre. What do you think?

To hold on or to let go?

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Life is made of seasons. Some seasons require that we let go while other seasons need a holding on.

If you hold on when you are supposed to let go, you are in trouble; and if you let go when you are expected to keep holding on, you are in as much trouble.

Now you ask me, when do I know it’s time to hold on or to let go? Good question.

For this we need discernment. Ask of God and He will give you of this spirit abundantly and free of charge.

In addition to this we need wisdom; not the wisdom of this world that comes to nothing but divine wisdom that leads to sure victory. “Is it wise for me to hold on or to let go in this situation?”

Furthermore you need to know your bigger purpose in life. “Does letting go, or holding on, fit into the bigger purpose, vision, plan for my life?”

For all of these to work together for your good you need faith, the kind of unshakable faith that defies all odds. You must have self-confidence and the right kind of self-esteem so that you don’t get tossed from one opinion to another by public opinion.

There will be times in your life wherein the whole world (including your spouse, father, pastor, child etc) is against you. At the same time, the Spirit of God, and your deepest conviction are saying the contrary. What will you do in this case? Give in to the pressure?

There is a time to hold on and a time to let go. May you never hold on to dry branches, and may you never let go of God-given opportunities.

Discern, be wise, be purposeful, then take a stand and be ready to defend it with your faith.

To hold on or to let go?

More of you and less of yours

I need your heart more than your purse.

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I need your presence more than you check.

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I need your love more than your money.

You are not single

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You are not single.

You are married to Jesus

One day He will lend you out for a season

To the man who dares present such a request

A faithful steward who will keep you in good shape

And present you to your husband when He comes to take you home

And if your Husband chooses to keep you jealously to Himself

Shout for joy for you are even dearer to His heart, most precious in His sight

And He knows you’ll never find a better husband than the one He is to you.

TOO EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED? IT’S TIME TO GET GOING.

Life is made up of times and seasons. We are called upon to move on from one place, situation and level to another. This will happen to each one of us from time to time. There are moments of transition and there are new challenges and targets to handle all the times.

We can’t grow, make progress or even succeed in life if we get stuck in one position.
The problem with people like me is that we often get too emotionally attached to some situations that are meant to be only temporary; a job, a mentor, a habitation etc. It becomes difficult to let go and keep going when it’s time to break camp and advance.

In my own experience, God has dealt with this issue in my life in a number of ways:
A. He sometimes provokes a conflict that will then end up kicking me out of my comfort zone.
B. He sometimes incites people to reject and hate me outright. This is usually when I insist on holding unto a dead end- a relationship that has come to its natural end.
c. I have had situations where I was moved to hate an environment; this as preparation for me to move to a new location. Isn’t it amazing that the things that you loved and cherished yesterday have become simply unbearable to you today? Perhaps it’s time to move on.

 Now, let’s be very careful here. There are things you are not permitted to move on from. You can’t just move on from your marriage, spouse and kids because you no longer feel like staying on. You will be hurting a whole lot of people and bringing more disorder and pain in society. You can’t move on from your assignment because things have become too tough. God calls us for life, not for ‘as long as it feels good’.

 Sometimes the movement is not necessarily physical. It might be emotional or psychological; you may have to stop engaging in a certain activity, dressing in a particular style or treating someone in a particular manner. For instance, when your children become adolescents you move on from the way to used to talk to them when they were just little kids.

 Remember, there is no promotion without movement (physical or mental). If you resist moving on when it is the time to do so you could miss out on what God wants to do in your life for that season. You could then be stuck on one spot all your life.
On your marks, get set, move…

What’s wrong with being single?

I have come to believe that being single is not a problem. It is the way the society sees and interprets it that creates a problem that should not normally exist.

Why is that preacher talking as though to be single at a certain age is a curse?

Why is pastor hurriedly trying to clip people together so that they don’t remain single?

While we celebrate marriage, because God ordained it (Genesis 2:22), and because it is honorable, we must not always try to get a reason as to why so and so is not getting married.

While we strive to help people get life partners, we shouldn’t make others feel they are abnormal because they aren’t there yet; or never will be. Let’s celebrate singleness too, with Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

Help the singles valorize their singleness; don’t push them to a position where their single and most important dream is to get married.

Unmarried people are not societal misfits, no matter the reason for their singleness. The blessing of the Lord is upon them too.

Give them the respect they are due.

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