HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘mental illness’ Category

Not yet, but yet…

I’m alive yet,

I’m not where I want to be yet,

I haven’t quit yet,

I’ve not failed yet.

To hold on or to let go?

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Life is made of seasons. Some seasons require that we let go while other seasons need a holding on.

If you hold on when you are supposed to let go, you are in trouble; and if you let go when you are expected to keep holding on, you are in as much trouble.

Now you ask me, when do I know it’s time to hold on or to let go? Good question.

For this we need discernment. Ask of God and He will give you of this spirit abundantly and free of charge.

In addition to this we need wisdom; not the wisdom of this world that comes to nothing but divine wisdom that leads to sure victory. “Is it wise for me to hold on or to let go in this situation?”

Furthermore you need to know your bigger purpose in life. “Does letting go, or holding on, fit into the bigger purpose, vision, plan for my life?”

For all of these to work together for your good you need faith, the kind of unshakable faith that defies all odds. You must have self-confidence and the right kind of self-esteem so that you don’t get tossed from one opinion to another by public opinion.

There will be times in your life wherein the whole world (including your spouse, father, pastor, child etc) is against you. At the same time, the Spirit of God, and your deepest conviction are saying the contrary. What will you do in this case? Give in to the pressure?

There is a time to hold on and a time to let go. May you never hold on to dry branches, and may you never let go of God-given opportunities.

Discern, be wise, be purposeful, then take a stand and be ready to defend it with your faith.

To hold on or to let go?

Bring it out and deal with it…

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What’s hidden beneath your dress?

Bring it out and deal with it.

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What’s that mask you’re wearing just now?

Pull it off and deal with it.

The monster you don’t confront

You can’t defeat.

When darkness reaches out for my soul…

When darkness like an invisible hand

Reaches out for my soul

When I cry for help

But my agony seems to fall

Very so often on deaf ears

Or ears that know not how to handle

When I feel like giving up on life itself

Because the road seems too dark and lonesome

And none but me tread such slimy path,

Then I remember that my Lord knows it all

He wants me well and whole and happy

He sees each tear that wets my cheek

And treads that lonesome path with me

Though I may not see him with eyes wide open

I know He is there because He promised to be

And then I find the strength to get along

Because Daddy is right there with me and for me

I will break into a new song and praise

For though my cheeks are wet with tears

My heart is warm with love unchanging

Thank you Daddy for being there for me.

Jesus, a mystery

Creator of the universe, He was born like a poor child

Commanding legions of angels, He fled before Herod’s army

The author of Baptism, He submitted to Baptism

He created Lucifer, was tempted by him as satan

God enough to walk on water, man enough to thirst for water

He lived like the poor, He brought money forth from fishes’ mouths

Followed by a crowd, He died on a lonely cross

It is He who gives life, it is He who succumbed to death

God came to us in human form, what a mystery?

GO AHEAD AND LAUGH

This is a very unusual thing to say to anybody isn’t it? Not so when life has wiped off laughter from your mouth and you need to learn how to laugh again.

I met a man some time ago and we sat down to discuss about our Christian faith. I soon noticed that he had a very unusual way of laughing. When he laughed, he would cover his mouth with his hand and bend his head as if to hide his face and then he will laugh as though he were buying it in ounces. It was as if he was afraid to use too much of the scarce laughter available in the world. It was as though he didn’t have a right to it… he looked pathetic in his gestures.

When I got to investigate this phenomenon I soon realized this man has gone through so much in life that he had forgotten that laughter is a gift from God. To him, the good things of life, even things as natural and accessible as laughter were not his by right. unconsciously he wanted to apologize for using it. He laughed as though he was stealing someone’s laughter.

You may find this strange. You may be saying ” I am not like that, I can laugh freely … Let me find out from you. When you go to the market or the mall what section automatically attracts your attention? Do you always want to go for the cheap and the ugly even when the nice stuff is cheap and accessible? And when you finally find enough courage to go to the nice stuff you feel so unworthy of it and you  walk as though you are going where angels fear to tread. It is possible poverty has messed up your mind the way it did mine. If our man needs to learn how to laugh, you need to learn how to go for the good things in life.

I am a survivor, a survivor of sexual abuse, rejection, poverty and hatred. This started at birth right through to my teenage years. It really messed me up. When Jesus saved me and started teaching me through His word that I was not what the world said I was, it was not easy for me to accept my new identity in Christ. I have heard too many abusive words that simply programed me as a disaster waiting to happen.

Sexual abuse led to low self-esteem and no self-value. I did not have respect for my body, consequently I gave it away cheaply which led to more sexual abuse. You know the vicious cycle that follows. I was searching for love but from the wrong places due to the rejection I has suffered;  but all those men wanted was my body and nothing more. They did not care about my heart condition. I lived a secret life of fear, suspicion and mistrust because I always expected someone to hurt me. I became defensive in everything I did, becoming very tough and difficult to get along with. This led to more rejection since  no one understood the root of my problems. I lived a double kind of life.

Poverty messed me up too. When God started blessing me it was not easy for me to accept that I can have enough money in my pocket. Whenever it happened, I saw it as unusual and this pushed me to want to spend it all at once and  go back to my familiar state of poverty. I bought so much junk and cheap stuff it became a bore as it took up so much breathing space in my life. I just could not handle money.

Relationships were a nightmare. I just expected people to hurt, abuse and betray me as in the past, consequently I could not easily trust people. The worse of it is that even in the church were I expected to find solace, some unscrupulous brothers and sisters added some vinegar to my wounds. It took God Himself to wipe out the hurt. I learned the hard way to love everyone but to trust God alone because He alone is perfect.

Why am I saying all of this? It is not to provoke pity for me. God has healed my wounds already and is still committed to healing those I  will ever receive. I  want you to know that there is healing in Christ no matter what you have been through. Ask of God the divine capacity to forgive, forget and live your life like nothing bad ever happened to you. I still remember the day I went up to the man who had sexually abused me for years during my childhood. I did not go there to yell at him, take him to the police or to throw my anger in his face. I simply told him that I had forgiven him and that he should seek God’s forgiveness so as to live a fulfilled life and make heaven. Only a healed heart can do this.

Do you need to go up to someone today and do same? do not hesitate another day… your total healing depends on that sometimes. Please my dear friend, forgive and move on with your life. And above all else know that God loves you dearly and wants the very best for you. Never doubt it another day. Some day you will read my full story in a book and you will know that there is no limit to the depth God will go to save and heal the last the lost and the least.

I FEEL EMPTY AFTER IT ALL

Life can feel very empty at times and people are constantly looking for ways to fill the emptiness in their lives. In spite of all their efforts to live fulfilled lives, they keep coming up against that concrete wall of frustration.

Have you been thinking been asking yourself what is the essence of life? Perhaps life makes no sense to you. You are seeking for the happiness you see in others and you desperately want some joy. Your hopes have suddenly vanished in a car accident, a fire incidence or a job loss. Are you mourning the death of a dear one? Are you tired of congratulating others and never being congratulated in return? Perhaps you have all the things that you think can make you happy, yet that nagging feeling of emptiness remains.

You have tried drugs and alcohol as a means of drowning your hopelessness; you have on porn and indiscriminate sexual relationships but no cure. Maybe you tried sports and clubs, shopping sprees and lavish spending to get fame and a name. You even tried religion too. You have been to church, to the mosque and you are meditated with Buddhists in monasteries on hill tops.

I have good news for you. Stop trying to fix it all alone. You do not have to carry that burden alone. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 to bring all your cares, worries, frustrations and fears to Him. Such a load is too heavy for you; He has a lighter load and an easier burden for you. Hand it over to Him and watch Him replace it with peace, joy and a new desire to reach for the moon. Give your broken pieces to the potter and He will know what quality of vessel to bring out of it.

Make up your mind to go beyond religion. Go for relationship. You cannot get peace and joy from the respect of man-made laws and rituals. A once-in-a-while stop over in church will not help you. Go deeper with God and know His will for your life. Read His Word (the Bible) and know what He has in store for you. Then hold onto it, believe it and confess it and you will see it come to pass in your life.

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