HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Archive for the ‘purpose’ Category

Are you ready?

If you are still very comfortable with your present condition,

Then you are not qualified for your next level.

Discontent qualifies you for action

Desire motivates you for change.

The Anatomy of self-doubt

Do you find it hard to trust yourself? Are you scared of taking decisions because you’re afraid to make mistakes and bear the consequences?

Self-doubt is a thief who will steal your joy, your sense of self-worth and self-confidence; it will keep you in a stupor too fearful to try things out and discover their outcome.

Self–doubt immobilizes you with fear. You dread taking risks because you do not want to fail.

But the truth is, in life we can’t achieve much without stepping out to try things out and then see what we get at the end of the road. We only have to trust God at such moments to lead and guide us in the right direction, and to bring us back on track when we go astray.

What are some of the things that provoke self-doubt?

  • You’ve messed up too many times in life and you’re afraid to mess up another time. You prefer to play it safe this time.
  • You’ve been disappointed so often; you’d rather be careful.
  • You’ve been hurt too much; you won’t let it happen to you again; your guards are always up.
  • You’ve often been told you’re no good; you now belief it’s true. You don’t want to confirm that ugly report.
  • The devil is plaguing you with the spirit of fear and dread. You are under captivity and you need deliverance.
  • You just hate trying out new things; you’re the comfort zone kind of person.

Self-doubt in itself is not bad, especially the kind that pushes you to ask questions, try out new recipes and do research to find answers. This can actually lead to self-improvement which we all need.

What I’m talking about here is the kind of negative, tormenting self-doubt that makes you to devalue yourself and to doubt your own capability at achieving anything great.

When we understand that God has promised never to leave us or abandon us, that He will not be very angry with us for messing us, that He will readily take us back and continue to love us even when we’ve made mistakes, we will be more willing to take bold steps and to leap forward, counting on Him to see us through.

So what is the cure for self-doubt?

Trust that God knows your doubt and that He’s ready to give you answers when you ask him questions. Trust that He will faithfully guide and lead you along the way. Trust that Christ in you is wisdom, power and a sound mind.

Good luck to you all as you take bold steps and great leaps forward achieve great things in this year 2016.

Not yet, but yet…

I’m alive yet,

I’m not where I want to be yet,

I haven’t quit yet,

I’ve not failed yet.

To hold on or to let go?

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Life is made of seasons. Some seasons require that we let go while other seasons need a holding on.

If you hold on when you are supposed to let go, you are in trouble; and if you let go when you are expected to keep holding on, you are in as much trouble.

Now you ask me, when do I know it’s time to hold on or to let go? Good question.

For this we need discernment. Ask of God and He will give you of this spirit abundantly and free of charge.

In addition to this we need wisdom; not the wisdom of this world that comes to nothing but divine wisdom that leads to sure victory. “Is it wise for me to hold on or to let go in this situation?”

Furthermore you need to know your bigger purpose in life. “Does letting go, or holding on, fit into the bigger purpose, vision, plan for my life?”

For all of these to work together for your good you need faith, the kind of unshakable faith that defies all odds. You must have self-confidence and the right kind of self-esteem so that you don’t get tossed from one opinion to another by public opinion.

There will be times in your life wherein the whole world (including your spouse, father, pastor, child etc) is against you. At the same time, the Spirit of God, and your deepest conviction are saying the contrary. What will you do in this case? Give in to the pressure?

There is a time to hold on and a time to let go. May you never hold on to dry branches, and may you never let go of God-given opportunities.

Discern, be wise, be purposeful, then take a stand and be ready to defend it with your faith.

To hold on or to let go?

HOW I DISCOVERED MY CALLING AND PURPOSE (My Testimony)

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This post is in response to a request from a fellow blogger and reader based on the last post I published titled “Why I got out of bed this morning”. In this post I said my life took a completely new turn (a positive turn) when God showed me my purpose.

My fellow blogger wanted me to share my experience; how I came to discover my purpose. I will just give a run down of how it all started up till this moment.

The early part of my life was littered with verbal, sexual and physical abuse. I’ve known rejection, disease and acute poverty. This to me was the normal since I didn’t have access to another kind of life.

Due to these conditions I became an adolescent and young woman who suffered immensely from low self-esteem, inferiority complex and insecurities. I hated myself, and the kind of choices I made later in life simply confirmed my state of mind. I became frustrated by my choices and the inability of others to understand what I was going through.

I gave my life to Christ while studying to become a professional teacher. I came to Christ with a heavy load of troubles. My life was meaningless and dirty in my own very eyes.

Although I was envied by many for my academic success, I hated myself so much.

Once in the church, things did not get right immediately. There was a battle for my soul. God had rescued me but the devil wanted me so badly. This opened up the avenue for constant spiritual warfare. Very early on in my Christian journey I learned how to fast, pray and rebuke evil spirits (They were all over me).

I had to seek solutions, and I sought them wherever I thought possible. I attended crusades, bought books and tapes, asked to be prayed for and then fasted and prayed on my own. But this didn’t prove to be the magic wand I expected.

Little did I know that God had destined me to be His servant and that all what I was going through was part of the training for ministry. Sometimes I thought God didn’t care about me. I then wanted to die. I really wanted to end the stress and trauma because that is all my life comprised of.

During the early stages of my conversion I began to have these “strange” dreams and visions wherein I found myself ministering prayer, healing and deliverance to people. I later understood through the teachings I was exposed to that God was showing me my calling. At that stage I didn’t understand much of it.

Also, I once heard a sermon that really shook the foundation of my Christianity and pushed me to seek God deeper. The preacher challenged Christians to stop being those who “sit and watch” while others serve in the church.

I must admit that I didn’t like the way he described those of us who were not in active service in God’s house. I felt a holy anger in me that sent me on my knees asking God what He wanted me to do in His house.

I attended foundation classes for new converts. There, I learned the difference between general service and specialized service. The former is for those who do not yet know their particular area of calling and the latter is for those who already know exactly what God has called them to do.

I was challenged and I began to serve in the church. I have served with the cleaners, the hospitality team; I’ve been a Sunday school teacher, an intercessor, the intercessors’ leader, a member of the women’s ministry among others. Then one day when Pastor was transferred I was asked to assume the interim until a new Pastor was sent to the church.

I learned a lot in these various capacities. This general service established my foundation as a Christian and gave me a base for ministry.

As I continued serving in the church and spending time in intimacy with God He began to show me my area of specialization. This was facilitated by the books I read, tapes I listened to, sermons I heard, other men and women of God I observed, prophecy, and then seminars and workshops I attended.

I never missed any opportunity to attend conferences and seminars even if I had to forgo other needs just to afford the transportation I needed. I was hungry for more of God and He honored my hunger with deeper knowledge about Himself and His call on my life. I always came back from the events enriched and refreshed.

But I still had issues. Only gradually did God take them away one at a time.

I’ll like to cite a few of the resources which among others really helped me during my search.

  1. Your season is getting ready to change by Pastor Paula White (tape).
  2. The Assignment, the Dream and the Destiny by Dr. Mike Murdock (book).
  3. Maximize Your Potential by Dr. Myles Monroe (book).
  4. Tough Times Never Last, but tough people do by Dr. Robert Schuller (book).
  5. The confident woman by Joyce Meyer (book).

I accessed other numerous resources by servants of God like Bishop T.D. Jakes, Arch Bishop Benson Idahosa, just to name these few. (I’ve read a mountain of books and I’ve bought a great number of tapes. I’ve been to so many conferences and I’ve sat down to talk to not a few servants of God).

In the end God made me to understand that He let me go through hell so that I would help others come out of hell. I’m a survivor called to reach out to others and help them survive.

But in all these, God’s grace has been superabundant in my life. I owe it all to His mercy and favor.

If not for His grace, there’s no other reason why I should be alive today.

What I can say is that it takes patience, intimacy with God, the willingness to learn, to sacrifice and endurance, when things seem to go directly opposite to what God had promised you through dreams, visions, prophecy and especially His own Word, the Bible.

I’m still searching and I’m still learning. I agree with the Apostle Paul:

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

I hope and pray someone is inspired by this resume of my testimony to seek God more and to get to know Him in a deeper dimension.

You are blessed in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

Why I got out of bed this morning

Some years back I was hopeless, lost and suicidal.

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Then I asked God why He ever suffered me to live on the earth.

He showed me my purpose and His plan for my life.

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And then I began to live.

I live to give hope to the hopeless.

I live to heal broken hearts and wounded souls.

That is my purpose.

How focused are you? Take the test.

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Certainty is born out of conflict

You’ll never know whether you’re focused until something tries to pull you out of your chosen path.

Temptations and distractions can help you establish priorities if they are well managed.

  • Should I marry or pursue a career?
  • Do I choose adventure or my studies?
  • Should I cook supper for him or take a cup tea and go to bed?
  • Should I go to church or to the party?

When you face attractive alternatives and choose to remain faithful to your chosen course, then you know you are a focused and purpose-driven person.

What are you doing here … (write your name in the space)

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Prophet Elijah had just show cased the power of God and the anointing on his life by challenging and then killing the prophets of Baal as proof of the fact that his own God, the Almighty is the only true God.

When Queen Jezebel their spiritual leader hears of it she promises to reduce Elijah to the same fate. The prophet runs for his dear life and hides himself far away from the city. He is depressed and suicidal. He wants to end it all.

What a paradoxical reaction just after the Mount Carmel demonstration of God’s power.

God comes to him and asks him a very simple but profound question;

“What are you doing here Elijah?”

Has God now changed? Has He ceased to be the same God who answers by fire?

Today this same God is asking some of us; “what are you doing here my daughter/ my son?

What are you doing in that depression, talented young lady?

What are you doing in that suicide idealization, gifted young man?

What are you doing in that sickness and infirmity, daughter of the Most High?

What are you doing in that fear and uncertainty, wise old leader?

Have you forgotten how I showed up for you in the past?

Have you forgotten how we broke protocol in the past?

What are you doing here Elijah?

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he…

Have you ever heard yourself asking that kind of question? It happens at times that we get embarrassed by our own words and actions. Perhaps you meant well, but before you knew it you blew it and shamed yourself. Then you gave yourself a tag and started behaving like the label you gave yourself.

What motivates your choices in life? That could hold a clue to the reason why you keep acting the way you do.
The way you see yourself is very instrumental in determining the kind of decisions you make in life. If you see yourself as good, talented, cute and useful it will be reflected in your dress code, speech, the neighborhood you prefer and the kind of company you keep.

A person who thinks they are silly, dumb and good at nothing will act exactly that way. It will be reflected in the way they walk, talk and carry themselves. The kind of stuff you buy for yourself, the man you date, your dressing and eating habits all point to the way you see yourself.

It all begins in the mind. When you change your mind you will change your actions and you will change your life.
If you find yourself always going in for the cheap and ugly stuff, even when you could afford something better, it may be a sign that you have a bad self-image. You think that is all you deserve. You think the good things in life are meant for everyone else except you.

Take care of yourself. You have just one life to live. Like the desiderata says, “you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here…”

TOO EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED? IT’S TIME TO GET GOING.

Life is made up of times and seasons. We are called upon to move on from one place, situation and level to another. This will happen to each one of us from time to time. There are moments of transition and there are new challenges and targets to handle all the times.

We can’t grow, make progress or even succeed in life if we get stuck in one position.
The problem with people like me is that we often get too emotionally attached to some situations that are meant to be only temporary; a job, a mentor, a habitation etc. It becomes difficult to let go and keep going when it’s time to break camp and advance.

In my own experience, God has dealt with this issue in my life in a number of ways:
A. He sometimes provokes a conflict that will then end up kicking me out of my comfort zone.
B. He sometimes incites people to reject and hate me outright. This is usually when I insist on holding unto a dead end- a relationship that has come to its natural end.
c. I have had situations where I was moved to hate an environment; this as preparation for me to move to a new location. Isn’t it amazing that the things that you loved and cherished yesterday have become simply unbearable to you today? Perhaps it’s time to move on.

 Now, let’s be very careful here. There are things you are not permitted to move on from. You can’t just move on from your marriage, spouse and kids because you no longer feel like staying on. You will be hurting a whole lot of people and bringing more disorder and pain in society. You can’t move on from your assignment because things have become too tough. God calls us for life, not for ‘as long as it feels good’.

 Sometimes the movement is not necessarily physical. It might be emotional or psychological; you may have to stop engaging in a certain activity, dressing in a particular style or treating someone in a particular manner. For instance, when your children become adolescents you move on from the way to used to talk to them when they were just little kids.

 Remember, there is no promotion without movement (physical or mental). If you resist moving on when it is the time to do so you could miss out on what God wants to do in your life for that season. You could then be stuck on one spot all your life.
On your marks, get set, move…

What’s wrong with being single?

I have come to believe that being single is not a problem. It is the way the society sees and interprets it that creates a problem that should not normally exist.

Why is that preacher talking as though to be single at a certain age is a curse?

Why is pastor hurriedly trying to clip people together so that they don’t remain single?

While we celebrate marriage, because God ordained it (Genesis 2:22), and because it is honorable, we must not always try to get a reason as to why so and so is not getting married.

While we strive to help people get life partners, we shouldn’t make others feel they are abnormal because they aren’t there yet; or never will be. Let’s celebrate singleness too, with Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

Help the singles valorize their singleness; don’t push them to a position where their single and most important dream is to get married.

Unmarried people are not societal misfits, no matter the reason for their singleness. The blessing of the Lord is upon them too.

Give them the respect they are due.

Is it right for leaders to interfere in the choice of marriage partners for those they lead?

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A leader here refers to anyone with authority over another, for instance in the church, family or any other established structure.

Let’s examine a few facts and then reach a compromise.

Let’s go back to the story of creation and the first man Adam. When God entered the garden and asked Adam,

Have you eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you not to eat (Genesis 3:11)?

The man’s response was very interesting.

The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

Adam literarily blamed God for giving him that woman to be with him. It was like saying, had you not given me this woman, I’ll not be in such a mess like this.

Eve was no longer the “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. She was no longer the darling and sweetie and baby…

He was like saying, ‘if I had had my say in this matter, it won’t be this one’.

If you were in God’s position, will you ever think of bringing someone home to your son even if just to see if he liked them?

Don’t get me wrong here. There is someone out there God will very much want you to marry. But he will never violate your will by forcing them on you.

He doesn’t want to get blamed when the boat hits a tide.

Does it mean God has left us to our own devices when it comes to marriage? I don’t think so.

  • He will create an opportunity for both of you to meet.
  • He’ll use various ways to suggest the person to you as a possible partner.
  • He will put that loving desire for that person in your heart; He’ll convict you about them.
  • If you say ‘no’ to that, He’ll not force you into it.

If you come crying years later that you missed the right person, He’ll still wipe the tears and bind the wounds. But that’s about all he can do at such a time.

  • So, dear leaders, I think we shouldn’t strongly interfere in such a sensitive domain in the life of individuals. Don’t go where angels fear to tread.
  • Give your opinion, suggest to them, and create an avenue where they can meet; but don’t push them into it.
  • Pray for it to work if you are absolutely sure they are meant for each other, but stay clear and let them work it out by themselves.

 

 

“Yes, you can”: “No, you can’t”…Strike a balance

Yes, you can.

  • Just believe in yourself and you’ll get there.
  • There’s nothing in the world that can stop you from getting there.
  • Dream big and you’ll achieve big.

No, you can’t.

  • You’re not the right color.
  • You’re too short.
  • It’s too costly for you.

Strike a balance.

  • It’s possible, but you have to get so talented no one will notice your color but only your talent.
  • You can do it, but be ready to jump higher than the tallest fellow on the pitch.
  • You can afford it, but be ready to cut down on your expenditure and forgo a lot of stuff you would normally want to buy.

Yes, you can; but be ready to roll your sleeves and get to work, whatever work entails for you (studying, connecting, investing, praying, fasting, sowing etc).

DREAM-KILLERS AND DREAM-PROMOTERS

Dream-killers

  • Joseph’s brothers saw it, understood it even before the lad knew what it was all about. They tried to kill it (Genesis 37:5-8).
  • David’s brother Eliab tried to talk him out of his giant-slaying destiny (1Samuel 17:27-29).
  • The crowd wanted to stifle Bartimaeus’ dream to see again (Mark 10:47-52).
  • Jesus’ family came to take him home because they thought his own dream was some form of madness (Mark 3:20-21).

Dream-promoters

  • Eli saw it in little Prophet Samuel and taught the boy how to hear from God (1 Samuel 3:8).
  • Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law gave him useful ideas on how to do ministry (Exodus 18:17l-24).
  • Naomi gave Ruth a strategy to win the love and respect of Boaz, her future husband (Ruth3:1-4).
  • Barnabas took Paul and taught him how to do the things of God. Paul was accepted in the brotherhood because of the former’s recommendation (Acts 9:26-28).

What is your own dream? Who are you telling it to? Do you know in what category they fall? Is your dream at risk because of the people you are telling it to?

I pray God will send the right people to help you achieve that dream that keeps you awake all night long.

 

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