HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Posts tagged ‘christian’

For Christ’s sake only (2 Corinthians 12:10).

After talking about the weakness he’s made to endure, after showing how he takes pleasure in weaknesses, reproaches, persecutions and distresses, Apostle Paul says something that really becomes an eye opener for me.

“For Christ’s sake.”

The only reason he will take the shame, the pain and the rain is for Christ’s sake. If it is not for Christ’s sake he won’t take it.

If we Christian people aren’t careful we could accept anything, anyhow, anywhere and from anybody with “joy and gladness” thinking we are being very spiritual.

The only reason that authorizes you to endure suffering is for Christ’s sake. If it’s not for that reason, get out of there.

If it’s not for the name of God to be glorified, if it’s not for the gospel to reach the uttermost parts, if it’s not to help a brother/sister in distress, get out of there.

 

HOW I DISCOVERED MY CALLING AND PURPOSE (My Testimony)

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This post is in response to a request from a fellow blogger and reader based on the last post I published titled “Why I got out of bed this morning”. In this post I said my life took a completely new turn (a positive turn) when God showed me my purpose.

My fellow blogger wanted me to share my experience; how I came to discover my purpose. I will just give a run down of how it all started up till this moment.

The early part of my life was littered with verbal, sexual and physical abuse. I’ve known rejection, disease and acute poverty. This to me was the normal since I didn’t have access to another kind of life.

Due to these conditions I became an adolescent and young woman who suffered immensely from low self-esteem, inferiority complex and insecurities. I hated myself, and the kind of choices I made later in life simply confirmed my state of mind. I became frustrated by my choices and the inability of others to understand what I was going through.

I gave my life to Christ while studying to become a professional teacher. I came to Christ with a heavy load of troubles. My life was meaningless and dirty in my own very eyes.

Although I was envied by many for my academic success, I hated myself so much.

Once in the church, things did not get right immediately. There was a battle for my soul. God had rescued me but the devil wanted me so badly. This opened up the avenue for constant spiritual warfare. Very early on in my Christian journey I learned how to fast, pray and rebuke evil spirits (They were all over me).

I had to seek solutions, and I sought them wherever I thought possible. I attended crusades, bought books and tapes, asked to be prayed for and then fasted and prayed on my own. But this didn’t prove to be the magic wand I expected.

Little did I know that God had destined me to be His servant and that all what I was going through was part of the training for ministry. Sometimes I thought God didn’t care about me. I then wanted to die. I really wanted to end the stress and trauma because that is all my life comprised of.

During the early stages of my conversion I began to have these “strange” dreams and visions wherein I found myself ministering prayer, healing and deliverance to people. I later understood through the teachings I was exposed to that God was showing me my calling. At that stage I didn’t understand much of it.

Also, I once heard a sermon that really shook the foundation of my Christianity and pushed me to seek God deeper. The preacher challenged Christians to stop being those who “sit and watch” while others serve in the church.

I must admit that I didn’t like the way he described those of us who were not in active service in God’s house. I felt a holy anger in me that sent me on my knees asking God what He wanted me to do in His house.

I attended foundation classes for new converts. There, I learned the difference between general service and specialized service. The former is for those who do not yet know their particular area of calling and the latter is for those who already know exactly what God has called them to do.

I was challenged and I began to serve in the church. I have served with the cleaners, the hospitality team; I’ve been a Sunday school teacher, an intercessor, the intercessors’ leader, a member of the women’s ministry among others. Then one day when Pastor was transferred I was asked to assume the interim until a new Pastor was sent to the church.

I learned a lot in these various capacities. This general service established my foundation as a Christian and gave me a base for ministry.

As I continued serving in the church and spending time in intimacy with God He began to show me my area of specialization. This was facilitated by the books I read, tapes I listened to, sermons I heard, other men and women of God I observed, prophecy, and then seminars and workshops I attended.

I never missed any opportunity to attend conferences and seminars even if I had to forgo other needs just to afford the transportation I needed. I was hungry for more of God and He honored my hunger with deeper knowledge about Himself and His call on my life. I always came back from the events enriched and refreshed.

But I still had issues. Only gradually did God take them away one at a time.

I’ll like to cite a few of the resources which among others really helped me during my search.

  1. Your season is getting ready to change by Pastor Paula White (tape).
  2. The Assignment, the Dream and the Destiny by Dr. Mike Murdock (book).
  3. Maximize Your Potential by Dr. Myles Monroe (book).
  4. Tough Times Never Last, but tough people do by Dr. Robert Schuller (book).
  5. The confident woman by Joyce Meyer (book).

I accessed other numerous resources by servants of God like Bishop T.D. Jakes, Arch Bishop Benson Idahosa, just to name these few. (I’ve read a mountain of books and I’ve bought a great number of tapes. I’ve been to so many conferences and I’ve sat down to talk to not a few servants of God).

In the end God made me to understand that He let me go through hell so that I would help others come out of hell. I’m a survivor called to reach out to others and help them survive.

But in all these, God’s grace has been superabundant in my life. I owe it all to His mercy and favor.

If not for His grace, there’s no other reason why I should be alive today.

What I can say is that it takes patience, intimacy with God, the willingness to learn, to sacrifice and endurance, when things seem to go directly opposite to what God had promised you through dreams, visions, prophecy and especially His own Word, the Bible.

I’m still searching and I’m still learning. I agree with the Apostle Paul:

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

I hope and pray someone is inspired by this resume of my testimony to seek God more and to get to know Him in a deeper dimension.

You are blessed in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

How hard she tried to earn his love!

Coming from a background of rejection Peggy knows how far one can go to earn love and acceptance. Growing up and feeling unwanted and unworthy she quickly became the kind of person who will endure all, do all and receive all…if there was even a slight chance of “getting some love and acceptance.”
When she came to know God in a more personal way, she wanted to relate to Him the same way she’s been relating with other humans. She grew up working hard to earn almost everything. So Peggy thought if she worked real hard God will love her more.
The consequence of the low self-image she suffered was that she thought she could gain esteem by working harder than everyone else. This will make her a better person, an accepted person.
She did a lot of things for God, not because she had to but because she thought it will make Him love her more and accept her. She thought by adding her signature to anything that had a Jesus label on it, God would be so happy. So Peggy ended up with accumulated errors and mistakes.
At that time, giving, fasting and other Christian activities were not done as a response to God’s love for her. They were done to earn that love.
She was really too hard on herself; and when God didn’t answer her as she expected Him to do, (as response to her hard work), she felt very dejected and let down.
Then God took her on a journey; a journey to know Him; a journey to receive love and acceptance without “paying” for it somehow.
As if to shock her out of that wrong mind set, God started using her at a time she was still feeling very “unworthy.” In the end, she realized it’s not how much she does, but how much God had done through Christ’s death on the cross.
She was freed from that bondage and she’s been free ever since. Peggy never tries to earn anything from God any longer. She now knows all things are hers because Christ paid the price for that.
Peggy is now living the Christian life as God wants her to live.

THE DREAM

The dream I carry is so big, so vast, so deep…I’m frightened by the sheer size of it.

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When I think about it I feel like giving up… “This is too much for me Lord; can’t you find someone else to do it?”

But when I think of where God took me (from the pit), When I think of how far we’ve come together, somehow I find the courage to go on.

He didn’t bring me this far just to abandon me here. He never starts a project that He doesn’t intend to finish.

It is not just my dream…it is His dream. He communicated it to me. I do not need to pay for it from my own pocket. He will sponsor His dream because it is about His Kingdom.

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I am convinced that in the end I will have reason to celebrate. Those who trust in Him shall not be put to shame.

HE WHO MADE ME WELL… (John 5:5-9)

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One day Jesus saw a man who had been sitting near a pool for 38 years waiting for and expecting healing from God. Everybody knew about him and no one did try to help him out. Everybody seemed to think that somehow, there was nothing wrong in him being there. He had become a part of the natural décor of that environment; it had become normal to see him there year after year and decade after decade.

Then one day something different happened to him. Jesus showed up, gave him an instruction and his story changed. “Glory to God, a notable miracle has happened. Our God has done it again…” This should have been the reaction of the leaders of the church. They should have been happy to see another testimony pointing to the greatness of God. No! They had other priorities at heart.

“Why are you carrying your bed on the Sabbath? Why did that man heal you on the Sabbath?”

It is like that prostitute who goes to church feeling so depressed…more depressed than the state of her dress; but then all we can see is her short skirt and heavy make-up. We then fail to appreciate a notable miracle; the fact that someone like that has made up their mind to stop running away from God.

I like the response the man gave to the Pharisees when they desired to know why he was crying his bed on the Sabbath.

“He who made me well said to me, ‘take up your bed and walk (John 5:11).’

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I don’t know who has been breathing down the back of your neck and giving you five reasons why you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. “As long as you live in my house, it is unlawful for you to pray. You are a former drug-addict and I won’t let you see my daughter; you used to be a sex worker, I can’t attend your church; you got born into the wrong family, you can’t have a break in life…”

This is my encouragement to you. Look at them in the face and say…”He who saved me told me I could make it…He who rescued me from the pit said to me ‘you are fearfully and wonderfully made…’”

At the end of the day, it’s not about pleasing men; it’s about doing the will of God and making it to heaven.

 

It won’t go away.

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She was the only one in the family who never went to college; she was the only one who had an abortion and had a baby out of wedlock. She alone got divorced and brought shame to the reputable family name. She also had an issue with drugs and hung out with the wrong company.

Her siblings and lived in a world very different from the one she knew. Her parents were embarrassed by her attitude and wondered who could have brought such a strange seed into the family blood line.

Then to put the final icing on the cake, she left home. If she ever thought this will break the heart of her parents then she was very wrong. Her departure was a welcome relief. ‘The plague that soiled the family name was finally wiped off.’ No one missed her; no one cried that evening when everyone came back from church and realized her stuff was gone; she too.

Years later, a shadow was seen in the distance approaching the house with cautious and calculated steps. The autumn sunset could not hide the deep contemplative expression on her face. The front door opened; she could not find it in herself to smile at the faces and eyes that seemed to see through her. But the expression on those faces didn’t encourage her in that direction either.

“Mama, I came back…I’ve changed mama…I’m no longer the same person who left home. I want to be part of the family again….”

The look on mama’s face told her to stop it. She wasn’t welcome back home. She could stay, but she wasn’t welcome.

She had changed indeed. She had put some order in her life. She had swept under the carpet, emptied her closet and dusted the platforms; but for some reason her past kept haunting her. No one wanted to believe in the new version of her. That same cold look on their faces.

Her presence in the house forced a new regime and lifestyle on other members of the family. ‘Don’t leave your purse carelessly around. Lock your room when you go out…’the list goes on.

How she longed to be seen as a normal person. How she yearned to be just another child, mama’s child. Who saw the tears she cried in secret, praying and hoping that they will see how much she had laid down and how much more she had taken up on the road of self-realization.

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“If I could just be forgiven, accepted, loved and trusted then I will show them how much I’ve learned and how much more and want to learn.”

She has changed; she has become a Christian. But for some reason, neither church nor family dare give her a second chance. So where does she go from here?

Those who have given up on you will soon start rewriting their journal entries. Be faithful on the good path you have chosen and do not quit in the face of adversity.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I see you in that dark little room
All alone and lonesome in your thoughts
Wondering what is driving everyone around
To that frenzy of excitement and craze.

I see you wiping a tear from your cheek
Asking yourself why you have to go on
When there is just so little to live for.

I see you, angry and bitter and broke
Because you can’t join in the celebration
Not because you don’t want to
But because you don’t fit in.

I see you draw the blinds in frustration
“Who cares if I don’t go out?
No one’s gonna miss me anyway.
They’re all having fun out there.”

I want to tell you dear friend
That someone misses you so bad
Though they may not have the courage to say so
They miss that smile though so rare.

Jesus came for you too my friend
Any little act of love, joy and peace
You pose this season
Honors and welcomes your Friend to the earth.

So go out there and join the celebration
Not because you feel like it
But because He feels for you, just you
And wants to hold you in His arms.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU. JESUS CARES, YES INDEED HE DOES. HE SEES YOUR PAIN, SHAME AND LONELINESS. HE COMMUNICATED IT TO MY HEART AND GAVE ME THESE WORDS JUST FOR YOU. I CAN FEEL YOUR YEARNINGS AND DESIRES. NOT BECAUSE I’M SUPER HUMAN, BUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN THERE TOO. HE WIPED AWAY MY TEARS; HE WILL DO SAME FOR YOU.
AMEN.

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