I used to think that if I don’t get a good dose of joy myself, then I’m unable or unqualified to bring joy to other people’s lives. I’ve since changed my paradigm.
I’ve learned that it takes just a little effort and will power to make someone’s day.
When I share the little I have it goes out and comes back to me in a boomerang effect.
It’s selfish of me to think that because I don’t have what I want, I’ve got nothing to share.
I could be unhappy, but at the same time possessing the seed to someone’s happiness.
At Gethsemane, Jesus wasn’t happy about going to the cross. But He knew my happiness depended thereon. So He went.
Anybody can give when in affluence; true generosity is seen when we give out of little.
When I look back on my life I discover that the time I was the hardest to please coincides with the time I hated myself the most. What is the relationship between these two realities?
If you do not like yourself, nobody else will be able to make you do it and you will be rather hard to please. Why do people hate themselves so?
- Long exposure to negative feedback. When people keep hitting it home that you are no good, you could end up accepting it and that will define the way you see yourself.
- Lack of positive feedback and appreciation for efforts you invest. When no one ever tells you it was well done you could start thinking you never do anything worth encouraging.
- Your best efforts always seem to produce the most mediocre results. You must find out what you are good at and excel therein. You can’t get your best grades in an area you are not gifted in.
- The kind of things that happened to you in the past. You might have messed up much too often. But remember, we all do mess up sometimes.
- Disabilities that make you look and feel different. This could be very tough, but not impossible to overcome. You need God’s grace for this one. God can enable you to love yourself in spite of any disability you carry.
When faced with self-hatred, we must not blame anyone for our condition. This will only lead to bitterness and that is not good either, for our emotional stability.
It will be an error to try to use our relationships as a means of finding happiness. Strive to get happy as an individual. If you want to get it out of others you might become too demanding and more difficult to please.
Don’t use other people’s successes and achievements as a means to your own happiness. They might no longer be there tomorrow and you will find yourself sinking even lower.
From my own experience I can tell you that getting a lot of stuff around you doesn’t help. A new house, a new car etc. will help you but only for a season.
Ask yourself if you can really be happy if all the stuff were taken away from you. If the answer is yes, then you are happy indeed, or let me say you are experiencing joy.
What do I do then?
- Ask God to show you your intrinsic value. There is something about you that when you discover you will begin to sing, and then you will never stop singing ever.
- Develop your potentials and become a blessing to others. There is great joy in giving. When you live your life helping others you will hardly get depressed.
- Find out your weaknesses and accept them. Stop trying to wipe away your weaknesses by your efforts. If you fail you could become more depressed. Acknowledge them, bring them to God and leave them there.
- Read the kind of books that will build up your self-image. Avoid going to places and being with people that speak negativity, that always try to bring you down.
Be happy apart from them, then you will be happy with them.
When you get into a relationship it should be to share what you have, not to get what you want.
When you think of the past you are full of shame, regret, anger and bitterness. You try not to think about it.
- You confess you have forgiven them but you just can’t get the scenes out of you mind. You keep having painful flashbacks.
- You hurt other people consciously or unconsciously and then you cry later on, or simply regret why you did it in the first place.
- It is unbearable for you to stand the sight of those who are going through what you have been through. They are a mirror where you see your own pain.
- You find it difficult to be compassionate to those going through the same pain you have been through. You cannot give to others what you do not have.
- No matter how much love and care you receive from others you complain and accuse others for not caring or for wanting to hurt you. You feel insecure and you dread being hurt again.
- You always try to attract attention to yourself and your needs and do not care about how others might feel. You are the centre of your own world.
- You always suspect people are out to harm you, you hardly give people the benefit of the doubt and you are always trying to defend yourself even when no one really wants to hurt you.
- You hate making mistakes and when they do happen you do all in your power to cover them up. You are afraid to lose some more self-esteem.
- You can go extra lengths just to gain approval and appreciation even if you have to pay a very high cost for it.
- You find it difficult to celebrate with achievers. You’d rather mourn with losers than celebrate with winners.
If you currently find yourself in this condition, you are in need of emotional healing. You can’t go on like that. That is not how life was meant to be for you.
I wish you a very blessed and joyous new year 2015.
May the Good Lord bless all your endeavors with success.
Where there was failure let there be success.
Where there was rejection let there be favor.
Where there was stagnation let there be speed.
Where there was delay let there be acceleration.
Where there were struggles let there be ease.
Let sickness turn to divine health.
Let pain turn to gain.
Let shame turn to fame.
You will surprise yourself this new year
In the mighty and miracle-working name of Jesus Christ.
Life can feel very empty at times and people are constantly looking for ways to fill the emptiness in their lives. In spite of all their efforts to live fulfilled lives, they keep coming up against that concrete wall of frustration.
Have you been thinking been asking yourself what is the essence of life? Perhaps life makes no sense to you. You are seeking for the happiness you see in others and you desperately want some joy. Your hopes have suddenly vanished in a car accident, a fire incidence or a job loss. Are you mourning the death of a dear one? Are you tired of congratulating others and never being congratulated in return? Perhaps you have all the things that you think can make you happy, yet that nagging feeling of emptiness remains.
You have tried drugs and alcohol as a means of drowning your hopelessness; you have on porn and indiscriminate sexual relationships but no cure. Maybe you tried sports and clubs, shopping sprees and lavish spending to get fame and a name. You even tried religion too. You have been to church, to the mosque and you are meditated with Buddhists in monasteries on hill tops.
I have good news for you. Stop trying to fix it all alone. You do not have to carry that burden alone. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 to bring all your cares, worries, frustrations and fears to Him. Such a load is too heavy for you; He has a lighter load and an easier burden for you. Hand it over to Him and watch Him replace it with peace, joy and a new desire to reach for the moon. Give your broken pieces to the potter and He will know what quality of vessel to bring out of it.
Make up your mind to go beyond religion. Go for relationship. You cannot get peace and joy from the respect of man-made laws and rituals. A once-in-a-while stop over in church will not help you. Go deeper with God and know His will for your life. Read His Word (the Bible) and know what He has in store for you. Then hold onto it, believe it and confess it and you will see it come to pass in your life.
- What about me? Matthew 11:28-30 (workingtowardscalvary.wordpress.com)