HEALING BROKEN HEARTS AND WOUNDED SOULS

Posts tagged ‘marriage’

Change does not always bring change until you decide to change

These thoughts are based strictly on my own experiences and what I’ve observed in our society today.

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Prison does not take away criminality. It is the decision we take while in prison that will change us.

Having kids will not make me love children. If I love them first I will love them better when I  get in there.

Getting married does not make us mature and responsible. It could become an avenue for us to prove our immaturity and irresponsibility.

Changing the man at the top won’t solve the bankruptcy unless you understand what caused it in the first place.

Marriage can’t heal me from lust, frivolousness and unfaithfulness or porn. I must decide to “deal with it”.

Getting a new partner won’t heal the old wounds. I better get healed before I make Peter pay for what Paul did.

Cutting a tree at the trunk won’t kill it. Get to the roots, roll your sleeves and dig.

I hope I didn’t mess up your case. This post is addressed to me too, you know.

TOO EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED? IT’S TIME TO GET GOING.

Life is made up of times and seasons. We are called upon to move on from one place, situation and level to another. This will happen to each one of us from time to time. There are moments of transition and there are new challenges and targets to handle all the times.

We can’t grow, make progress or even succeed in life if we get stuck in one position.
The problem with people like me is that we often get too emotionally attached to some situations that are meant to be only temporary; a job, a mentor, a habitation etc. It becomes difficult to let go and keep going when it’s time to break camp and advance.

In my own experience, God has dealt with this issue in my life in a number of ways:
A. He sometimes provokes a conflict that will then end up kicking me out of my comfort zone.
B. He sometimes incites people to reject and hate me outright. This is usually when I insist on holding unto a dead end- a relationship that has come to its natural end.
c. I have had situations where I was moved to hate an environment; this as preparation for me to move to a new location. Isn’t it amazing that the things that you loved and cherished yesterday have become simply unbearable to you today? Perhaps it’s time to move on.

 Now, let’s be very careful here. There are things you are not permitted to move on from. You can’t just move on from your marriage, spouse and kids because you no longer feel like staying on. You will be hurting a whole lot of people and bringing more disorder and pain in society. You can’t move on from your assignment because things have become too tough. God calls us for life, not for ‘as long as it feels good’.

 Sometimes the movement is not necessarily physical. It might be emotional or psychological; you may have to stop engaging in a certain activity, dressing in a particular style or treating someone in a particular manner. For instance, when your children become adolescents you move on from the way to used to talk to them when they were just little kids.

 Remember, there is no promotion without movement (physical or mental). If you resist moving on when it is the time to do so you could miss out on what God wants to do in your life for that season. You could then be stuck on one spot all your life.
On your marks, get set, move…

What’s wrong with being single?

I have come to believe that being single is not a problem. It is the way the society sees and interprets it that creates a problem that should not normally exist.

Why is that preacher talking as though to be single at a certain age is a curse?

Why is pastor hurriedly trying to clip people together so that they don’t remain single?

While we celebrate marriage, because God ordained it (Genesis 2:22), and because it is honorable, we must not always try to get a reason as to why so and so is not getting married.

While we strive to help people get life partners, we shouldn’t make others feel they are abnormal because they aren’t there yet; or never will be. Let’s celebrate singleness too, with Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

Help the singles valorize their singleness; don’t push them to a position where their single and most important dream is to get married.

Unmarried people are not societal misfits, no matter the reason for their singleness. The blessing of the Lord is upon them too.

Give them the respect they are due.

Is it right for leaders to interfere in the choice of marriage partners for those they lead?

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A leader here refers to anyone with authority over another, for instance in the church, family or any other established structure.

Let’s examine a few facts and then reach a compromise.

Let’s go back to the story of creation and the first man Adam. When God entered the garden and asked Adam,

Have you eaten of the tree, of which I commanded you not to eat (Genesis 3:11)?

The man’s response was very interesting.

The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12).

Adam literarily blamed God for giving him that woman to be with him. It was like saying, had you not given me this woman, I’ll not be in such a mess like this.

Eve was no longer the “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. She was no longer the darling and sweetie and baby…

He was like saying, ‘if I had had my say in this matter, it won’t be this one’.

If you were in God’s position, will you ever think of bringing someone home to your son even if just to see if he liked them?

Don’t get me wrong here. There is someone out there God will very much want you to marry. But he will never violate your will by forcing them on you.

He doesn’t want to get blamed when the boat hits a tide.

Does it mean God has left us to our own devices when it comes to marriage? I don’t think so.

  • He will create an opportunity for both of you to meet.
  • He’ll use various ways to suggest the person to you as a possible partner.
  • He will put that loving desire for that person in your heart; He’ll convict you about them.
  • If you say ‘no’ to that, He’ll not force you into it.

If you come crying years later that you missed the right person, He’ll still wipe the tears and bind the wounds. But that’s about all he can do at such a time.

  • So, dear leaders, I think we shouldn’t strongly interfere in such a sensitive domain in the life of individuals. Don’t go where angels fear to tread.
  • Give your opinion, suggest to them, and create an avenue where they can meet; but don’t push them into it.
  • Pray for it to work if you are absolutely sure they are meant for each other, but stay clear and let them work it out by themselves.

 

 

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