I choose to walk away
Away from the past, its hurts, pains and shame
I choose to walk away from the choices I made in the past
Choices that seemed so logical and beneficial
I opt for change, the willingness to embrace the future I do not yet see
I choose to part with my own understanding, the one that let me into that mess
I will depart from myself, the self that I trusted but got disappointed.
I’ve discovered a new me, a me that so pleases me
And I won’t let anything take that away from me.
I thank you Lord for being alive
I am thankful for lessons learned
I am thankful for battles won
I am thankful for traps escaped
I thank you for the faith to go on
When I carefully consider it all
I see your invisible hand at work
That wrought many a miracle
To bring me this far.
I will not weep for battles lost
Or whine for wounds incurred
I will sing praises to my God
Because He did see me through.
Though weather-beaten and woe-stricken
I look to the future full of hope
For He who has promised
Faithful is He
To bring me home save to Him.
Are you feeling lonely? Have family and friends abandoned or rejected you? Are you unmarried, childless or far away from home in a foreign land? Do you lack someone with whom you can share your joy, sorrows, fears and dreams? God knows all about it. Perhaps He even permitted it in order to get your attention. I’ve been there too. I have lived a situation whereby everybody in my environment wanted nothing to do with me. They were either too ashamed or too ignorant to identify with my affliction. My family was far away and I felt very lonely; alone in the crowd. At such a time, I learned to draw very close to my heavenly Father. He became my closest neighbor.
That is why I have developed a particular prayer language whereby if you hear me praying without seeing me, you may think I’m having a conversation with an intimate friend. He is my intimate friend indeed. It is something like this; “Daddy, I’m so hungry I can’t bear it any longer, what do you think about my new dress? I feel jealous of that lady, help me overcome it, do you know that I’m angry with you for letting me fall ill? I don’t like Mary and she just gets on my nerves. What do we do about it?” When you have gone through periods in your life when you had no one to talk to, you learn how to treat God as husband, friend, family, boss, etc. There were times when I wanted to be hugged and kissed and all I had was God, I wanted to be offered a bunch of roses but all I got was God, so I learned to take Him as my lover and spouse and what have you. This brought me to closeness with God which is really blessing me today. I have learned to depend on God alone so I’m no longer afraid to be rejected, so I am not afraid to be frank and honest in my opinion. I can boldly say today, I and God are majority.
Do not get me wrong; I still need my fellow humans, but if for some reason they become a source of trouble to me, I can easily send them off and turn to my God. What about you? Are you so keen on being surrounded by friends to the point where you compromise just to have some around? Who is your closest neighbor and why? Do not be afraid to say “no” to the wrong company. You will always find a better friendship in God.