When we are denied the attention, support and care we deserve or need, when we are disregarded and despised by those we expect to love us the effects can be very devastating.
This is even more painful when you have to hear words that constantly remind you how unwanted you are.
People get rejected because of their racial identity, class, conditions of birth or even the kind of job they do for a living. Some are victims of the choices they made in the past or the kind of life they choose to live. Many have been rejected because they made mistakes that are considered unpardonable by society.
No matter what the reason may be, it hurts and that is the reality of it.
Those who reject others have powerful arguments to support their choice. It could be that their freedom, security or self-esteem is at risk if they were to embrace those they have chosen to reject. They may be trying to protect other members of the family or community. Whatever the case may be, I believe we can always get a better option while dealing with those we see as unwanted or undesirable.
The secret to this is to understand the pain and shame that comes with being labeled and rejected. While we strive to protect our own, we should be careful not to hurriedly put a tag on someone and cast them in the “rejected” bin.
The desire to belong is a fundamental human need and no matter how outrageously bad a person is, they want and they need to feel that they belong somehow. This desire could push them to extreme behavior that only leads to more rejection.
Before you cast that person into the thrash can of rejection, ask yourself whether someone somewhere is not searching for what you are about to throw out the window.
I know many people who some years back cast away the answer to their prayer just because it did not come in the packaging they expected. I know many more rejected stones that have become the chief corner stones in their families, communities and nations.