No matter what happens…

Admire people who have been through a lot and still keep their head up. Head Up! Even though you are going through a tough time. This is a must attitude during healing journey. Image credit : Pixabay – PublicDomainPictures

via Quote of the day # 17 : Head Up — Rebellious Scapegoat

What good can possibly come out of this hell hole?

Have you ever had to ask yourself this question? Especially when the hell you’re going through doesn’t look like anything positive can possibly come out of there?

Before I met my narcissist partner I was all insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-confidence….and all the lows you can imagine.

In fact I really felt so bad about myself; when he came love-bombing me I thought I’ve got the lever out of hell. He made me feel like a queen. But then, the bomb fell. He showed his hidden colors.

It was like I’d been taken up Mount Everest and then let down to crash into the rocks down the valley. I was in a worse state than he met me. Then I thought “If I do what he wants, he’ll stay and be the man he used to be”. All my efforts where but in vain.

Then the therapy started. I started searching for help; what kind of man can possible do this to a woman. Then I discovered narcissism. I studied it; I dissected it and labeled its parts. And then I knew the disease I’ve been suffering from.

When the diagnosis is correct, there is hope yet for the victim.

I’ve been on the healing journey and I just want to let the world know this;

• I’ve been healed of more than just the narcissistic abuse. Learning to get over it has helped me to build my self-confidence, self-worth and a sense of purpose and direction in life.
• I know what I want and I’m ready to go for it. I won’t settle for less.
• I’ve learned to take care of myself: feeding, dressing, relationships, relaxation…I really feel stronger and more confident than ever before.

He took me up Mount Everest and let me come crashing down. Once I had my back on the ground, I had no other option but to start a slow but steady climb to victory. I love the new me; I just love it here where I am.

Thank you Mr. narcissist. What you meant for evil, God has turned it for my good.

What gives us value as individuals?

What you own?

Who you are related to?

Who you are married to?

The name you’ve made for yourself?

If you do not value yourself as an individual, these things won’t make you feel better about yourself.

And if you happen to lose them they will take along any sense of self-esteem and value you had.

It’s important you discover your intrinsic value. Nothing can take that away from you.

How do you go about that?

• Know that you are a unique individual possessing innate beauty, talent and purpose.
• You are a masterpiece with no duplicate on planet earth. No one can be you. You have “a something” that no other individual possesses. Discover it.
• Ask God to reveal to you how He feels about you; what He thinks about you. This revelation will make you want to stand on a roof top and shout “Look at me”.

You will forget about your defects and inabilities.

You’ll begin to minimize and finally overcome man’s negative opinion about you.

 My personal diary has entries about some sweet things God has told me about me. I know how God sees me, What He thinks about me.

That is why in spite of my numerous weaknesses and defects, “Words can’t put me down”.

 

Why I got out of bed this morning

Some years back I was hopeless, lost and suicidal.

Then I asked God why He ever suffered me to live on the earth.

He showed me my purpose and His plan for my life.

And then I began to live.

I live to give hope to the hopeless.

I live to heal broken hearts and wounded souls.

That is my purpose.

When is it safe to say “Yes”?

In one of my recent posts I argued that it is wise to be able to say “No” sometimes. In this post I want to examine some of the conditions that could inspire a “yes”.

It’s important to say “No”, but it’s even more important to know when to say “yes” so that we don’t miss out on important opportunities in life.

Say yes when:

• You’ve prayed about the issue at hand and you have peace about it.

You don’t feel any resistance; like your head is saying one thing and your heart is saying another.

• You know it’s the will of God and the timing is correct.

It could be something He promised you, but be sure about the timing.

• It’s not against your faith-based convictions;

You don’t want to spoil your intimacy with God, if you are a Christian.

• It’s beneficial for someone or some people in need at that moment.

It could be unwise to get on your knees to ask God’s permission when you’re needed to save a soul in danger. You rather ask for His guidance.

• You are not out to impress someone or to prove yourself to someone.

If you don’t get the desired applause in the end you could easily sink into depression.

• You know that’s what you need at the moment;

a party, a change of environment, a change of job, a new relationship etc. This also means you are ready for it, physically, emotionally… Otherwise you could give a “no” or “wait”.

Don’t take important decisions when under pressure.

• It’s safe for you, your entourage, and the world at large.

We must not be selfish when we make decisions. And we should care for ourselves because “when we hurt, others hurt with us”.

• The decision does not go contrary to your purpose and objectives in life. You don’t want to get pregnant just before you get enrolled in College (for a single young lady).

This list is in no way exhaustive, but only indicative.

“On your marks, get set, YES.

 

 

How focused are you? Take the test.

Certainty is born out of conflict. You take a decision because you are faced with alternatives.

You’ll never know whether you’re focused until something tries to pull you out of your chosen path. Temptations and distractions can help you establish priorities if they are well managed.

• Should I marry or pursue a career?
• Do I choose adventure or my studies?
• Should I cook supper for him or take a cup of tea and go to bed?
• Should I go to church or to the party?

When you face attractive alternatives and choose to remain faithful to your chosen course, then you know you are a focused and purpose-driven person.

What God didn’t tell you when you got born again

That there will be days He seems so far away

That on some days you’ll feel so distant from his grace

That you’ll wet your pillow with tears some nights

That the sun will scorch you in the wilderness some days

That the devil will come after you like a roaring lion

That you’ll have to defeat the giants before you enter the Promise Land.

This would have scared you away from His ultimate purpose for your life.

 

But do you know…

That His grace is sufficient and ever present?

That He will never leave you nor forsake you?

That He brings water out of rocks in the wilderness?

That you have authority over that roaring lion?

That, like David you can slay that giant and get the victory?

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

(Romans 8:37)

What’s wrong with being single?

I have come to believe that being single is not a problem. It is the way the society sees and interprets it that creates a problem that should not normally exist.

Why is that preacher talking as though to be single at a certain age is a curse?

Why is pastor hurriedly trying to clip people together so that they don’t remain single?

While we celebrate marriage, because God ordained it (Genesis 2:22), and because it is honorable, we must not always try to get a reason as to why so and so is not getting married.

While we strive to help people get life partners, we shouldn’t make others feel they are abnormal because they aren’t there yet; or never will be. Let’s celebrate singleness too, with Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

Help the singles valorize their singleness; don’t push them to a position where their single and most important dream is to get married.

Unmarried people are not societal misfits, no matter the reason for their singleness. The blessing of the Lord is upon them too.

Give them the respect they are due.

Emotion-driven and purpose-driven leadership

EMOTION-DRIVEN LEADERSHIP

I’m not happy with you, you’re fired

I’m happy today, we’re having a party

I’m feeling depressed, let’s postpone the meeting

I’m discouraged, let’s give up on the project

I’m not interested in this, we won’t go in that direction

I like her very much, she can do as she pleases

I’m excited, lets start a new project

I don’t like the way he speaks, I won’t hire him

I’m feeling guilty, I won’t take another initiative

PURPOSE-DRIVEN LEADERSHIP

What are our priorities?

who can provide what we need?

How can we improve our production?

what resources do we need?

what extra effort is needed?

what is our target?

what amount of risk is acceptable?

what image do we want to portray?

who is being positively impacted by our services?

YOU ARE HERE FOR A PURPOSE

There is no human being on the surface of the earth who came here by accident. Each and every one of us is a well-thought out and carefully planned piece of God’s creation. This may seem very untrue to an individual whose daily life is a struggle for survival. For those who have lost hope because of the circumstances of life and for those whose lives are full of pain, this is a very remote possibility.

However, divine truth has nothing to do with what we feel or what we choose to believe. God’s promises and true and what He says He can do, He does. The Bible reminds us that we are to live by faith and not by sight. This means that no matter what our senses are telling us, no matter what our present circumstances are forcing us to believe, we must willfully decide to stand by faith on what God is telling us.

Do you believe that although your life seems so useless and uneventful, that God desires a glorious and victorious existence for you? Do you know that there is a divine assignment that you alone can fulfill? Do you know that many destinies depend on you fulfilling your God-given purpose? We are all born to influence and impact each others’ lives through the gifts and talents in us. There is a good reason why God has permitted you to continue living in spite of all you are going through. He has a plan for you and if you will just look up to Him, He will reveal to you the glorious life you are meant to live.

You may be depressed right now, discouraged and suicidal. You may be thinking of taking an overdose to end your life or even to jump into a lake to end it all. Remember, Your creator has not said the final word yet. You   want to kill yourself because you are believing the devil’s lies. He told you you can never make it, that you are good for nothing and that no one loves you or cares about you. Lies, all lies. Remember the devil is the father of lies and all he knows is lies. He lied to Adam and Eve and got them into a mess. He wants to get you into a mess too. Refuse to let Him take the breath out of you.

Even if your life has been nothing but pain, hold on. Your very story and how you have survived till now can heal, deliver and rescue another hopeless case. You have a purpose, there is a reason for your existence on earth. You are not failure until you decide to quit and pull out a white flag. Give God a chance, call on Him and He will show you great and might things that you know not; marvelous things He has kept for those that look up to Him.

My friend, you are here for a purpose. Refuse to quit until that purpose is fulfilled. Only then will you have fulfillment and also help others to find joy because their joy depends on you discovering God and what He has in store for you.