Posts tagged ‘rejected’

It won’t go away.

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She was the only one in the family who never went to college; she was the only one who had an abortion and had a baby out of wedlock. She alone got divorced and brought shame to the reputable family name. She also had an issue with drugs and hung out with the wrong company.

Her siblings and lived in a world very different from the one she knew. Her parents were embarrassed by her attitude and wondered who could have brought such a strange seed into the family blood line.

Then to put the final icing on the cake, she left home. If she ever thought this will break the heart of her parents then she was very wrong. Her departure was a welcome relief. ‘The plague that soiled the family name was finally wiped off.’ No one missed her; no one cried that evening when everyone came back from church and realized her stuff was gone; she too.

Years later, a shadow was seen in the distance approaching the house with cautious and calculated steps. The autumn sunset could not hide the deep contemplative expression on her face. The front door opened; she could not find it in herself to smile at the faces and eyes that seemed to see through her. But the expression on those faces didn’t encourage her in that direction either.

“Mama, I came back…I’ve changed mama…I’m no longer the same person who left home. I want to be part of the family again….”

The look on mama’s face told her to stop it. She wasn’t welcome back home. She could stay, but she wasn’t welcome.

She had changed indeed. She had put some order in her life. She had swept under the carpet, emptied her closet and dusted the platforms; but for some reason her past kept haunting her. No one wanted to believe in the new version of her. That same cold look on their faces.

Her presence in the house forced a new regime and lifestyle on other members of the family. ‘Don’t leave your purse carelessly around. Lock your room when you go out…’the list goes on.

How she longed to be seen as a normal person. How she yearned to be just another child, mama’s child. Who saw the tears she cried in secret, praying and hoping that they will see how much she had laid down and how much more she had taken up on the road of self-realization.

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“If I could just be forgiven, accepted, loved and trusted then I will show them how much I’ve learned and how much more and want to learn.”

She has changed; she has become a Christian. But for some reason, neither church nor family dare give her a second chance. So where does she go from here?

Those who have given up on you will soon start rewriting their journal entries. Be faithful on the good path you have chosen and do not quit in the face of adversity.


When we are denied the attention, support and care we deserve or need, when we are disregarded and despised by those we expect to love us the effects can be very devastating.

This is even more painful when you have to hear words that constantly remind you how unwanted you are.
People get rejected because of their racial identity, class, conditions of birth or even the kind of job they do for a living. Some are victims of the choices they made in the past or the kind of life they choose to live. Many have been rejected because they made mistakes that are considered unpardonable by society.

No matter what the reason may be, it hurts and that is the reality of it.

Those who reject others have powerful arguments to support their choice. It could be that their freedom, security or self-esteem is at risk if they were to embrace those they have chosen to reject. They may be trying to protect other members of the family or community. Whatever the case may be, I believe we can always get a better option while dealing with those we see as unwanted or undesirable.

The secret to this is to understand the pain and shame that comes with being labeled and rejected. While we strive to protect our own, we should be careful not to hurriedly put a tag on someone and cast them in the “rejected” bin.

The desire to belong is a fundamental human need and no matter how outrageously bad a person is, they want and they need to feel that they belong somehow. This desire could push them to extreme behavior that only leads to more rejection.

Before you cast that person into the thrash can of rejection, ask yourself whether someone somewhere is not searching for what you are about to throw out the window.

I know many people who some years back cast away the answer to their prayer just because it did not come in the packaging they expected. I know many more rejected stones that have become the chief corner stones in their families, communities and nations.


I am a testimony

A testimony that God can save from the mud

A testimony that God can soil his hands to save a child

A testimony that the blood of Jesus can wash all filth.


I am a testimony

A testimony that a rejected stone can become the chief corner stone

A testimony that God sees not as man sees

A testimony that from the mud, we can bring out gold.


I am a testimony

A testimony that God confounds the wise

A testimony that soiled garments can regain their splendor

A testimony that you can dream big, even at the bottom of the pit


My past is buried

My future won’t tarry


I am who God says I am

I am what I am by the Grace of God

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