It’s O K not to be O K,
I won’t keep trying to prove I’m O K
When I’m not O K
Because it won’t help me to be O K.
Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you couldn’t even trust yourself let alone another person?
Did you ever find yourself in a situation where God’s WORD became your sole friend, fan and fortifier, yet you didn’t even know if it’s God speaking?
Have you ever had so many divergent views on the same issue that you became stark raving confused?
I’ve been there. Below is a prayer I wrote to God some time ago. You may find some aspects of it very similar to what you have experienced at some time in your own walk with God.
Permit me to be a little transparent here. Be edified as you read.
Lord, from day one I have prayed to you asking that if this thing is not from you then let it end and let us part ways. I have told you to take it away from me if it is not your will for me.
The more I prayed the more it is growing. So who is answering me now, You, my emotions or the devil?
Will you give me a stone if I ask for bread? A snake if I ask for fish? A scorpion if I ask for an egg?
Will you let grow that which is supposed to die?
Lord, how else am I supposed to pray? Please Daddy, if this is a trial, a test, let me pass it now for good.
Why must I suffer so much? Daddy, you see my heart. You know I love you and will willingly follow your leading when I’m sure it is you leading.
Why the divergent views Lord? Who is right and who is wrong? Are my emotions tricking me? Then help me out Lord.
Will satan fight against satan? If this relationship is from satan, then why is satan fighting it also?
Lord Jesus did you not say that satan won’t fight himself or he’ll fail?
Lord, is this your character? That I ask of you to take it away if it’s not from you and you rather make it grow the more? Will you do that to me Daddy? Why will you do that?
Do you take pleasure in afflicting your dear daughter? Will you also hide the truth from me?
If you do not tell me the truth, who will?
Lord, if I’m being deceived, show it to me.
If I’m living in self-deception show it to me.
If the devil is tricking me show it to me.
If you are talking and I’m not getting you show it to me.
For the sake of your Name and Kingdom tell me the truth Lord.
Do you feel comfortable asking for help? Do you with ease receive and appreciate help from others?
Let’s share our experiences in this area.
If your answer to the above questions is no, then read on as we examine some of the reasons why people feel uncomfortable with this.
Whatever your own reason may be it is important to get to the root of it and get over it.
It feels very miserable to be in need of something someone wants to offer, yet be held back from asking for any reason whatsoever.
The world is full of people who want to help you. Do not shut them out of your life. Give them the opportunity to experience the joy of giving.
This post is about a very controversial subject. This post will either shock you or comfort your heart. You could get annoyed or you could get a little wiser. I take full responsibility for whatever reaction might come off this.
I want to talk about pastors. I want to share the experiences I’ve had with some of our pastors out there. It is time to get it out of me. It might help someone to avoid being aped over and over again like me.
When I got born again I was coming from a background of rejection and abuse. When I went to church, I badly needed physical, emotional and spiritual healing. Since I had never really experienced true parental love, I thought I could get it from the people God had established over me as my shepherds. I didn’t hesitate to open up to them, considering them as people I could trust. In my own naivety I thought I could fully trust them; that they were what the Bible says they should be. Then I got shocked out of my naivety.
What actually took me to many pastors was the fact that I was suffering from the kind of spiritual attacks that defied even the most anointed men of God. In my attempt to get help from a number of them I equally had the opportunity to observe them closely. I found out that many of those who claim to be pastors are just business men and women or simply crooks who are out to make a living by what ever means they can. They think God’s vineyard is their personal enterprise for personal aggrandizement. Did Jesus not prophesy about it? Many will come as sheep but deep within they are just ravenous wolves.
Don’t get me wrong. Pastor’s money is in the pocket of the Christians. But Pastor’s responsibility is to preach the undiluted word of God and the Holy Spirit will move his Christians to take care of all his needs. God will bring partners to sponsor church projects. Don’t be the kind of pastor who , when you need five hundred dollars for Monday morning you sit in your house Saturday evening and plan a strategy on how to fund raise Sunday morning. If you are forced to do that, know that there is something very wrong in the way you relate to God and the Holy Spirit. You don’t even care to take your needs to God any longer because you have your own way of getting it done. Repent, man of God, repent.
As a Christian I have come across the following categories of fake pastors. Get this and learn from it. But before you do, know that I have nothing against men of God. I am called to ministry myself, so I know many are observing me too.
I have observed a number of strategies these fakes use to extort money from their victims.
“God told me to tell you this and that…” God never spoke to them at all. They know that you are a God fearing person and that when you hear the name of God added to a prophecy you will fall prostrate and do as they say. So they use that Holy Name to dupe you. May God have mercy on them.
Nowadays the gifts of the Holy Spirit are for sale. My Bible tells me that we have received freely and we must give to others freely. But it is no longer so today. Prophets prophesy for money; before pastor lays hands on you for healing or deliverance you have to disburse a sum of money. You have to pay for your own healing. The blood of Jesus is no longer sufficient.
Some will pray and then ask you to bring an offering because your case is settled. You bring them a handsome amount. A few days later you realize your case was not settled after all. When you go back to them they will find a reason to prove that it is your entire fault. “You do not have faith; you did not keep praying about it; your offering was not big enough”. When some of them realize they can’t help you, instead of telling you the truth they will create scandal to send you away from their church. After all, they got the money in their pockets already. You can go commit suicide, they don’t care.
I have had bitter experiences, but I am still a Christian and I still believe in Jesus. God has not changed; there are still genuine men and women of God out there. They are few but they are there. May God give us the discernment to know who to trust and who to flee from. May God help us to see the wolves hidden behind the sheep clothing.
If you are already part of a local church under a genuine servant of God, thank God for your pastor and stay put. If you are still searching for a place of fellowship, make sure the Holy Spirit Himself leads you to a church. If you have been betrayed and hurt like I’ve been, I pray that God Himself will heal your heart and then help you to meet a good shepherd. There are still some good ones out there.
One thing is sure; I have changed. These things have had an impact on my spiritual life. I’m no longer naïve and easily trusting, no matter how anointed a pastor is. I’m a civil servant. When I get transferred to a new region and I get into a church I take my time to observe very keenly what is going on there. I don’t just get to trusting everybody, and I don’t mistrust either. I just sit there and watch, then pray for the Holy Spirit to tell me what to do next.
If (like me) you really want to serve God in spirit and in truth, but are afraid to get aped (again), don’t get discouraged. Take a time out with God alone and ask Him to tell you what to do next. He is faithful and He will not let you live in confusion and uncertainty. He knows that some of His shepherds have gone astray, even more than the sheep. He will guide you to those who are still genuine. If you are really out to serve your God sincerely, He will never allow you to be ruined by unscrupulous mercenaries.
Some of you have become very skeptical about the church because of what you have suffered. People don’t understand why you seem so lukewarm in the midst of so much fire. Some even criticize your attitude. Don’t cry any longer; your creator knows what you have been through. Others judge but your actions. They can’t see your heart. My prayer is that God will heal your heart and enable you to be zealous once more for the things of God.
Serve the Lord with joy; trust in Him. Honor His servants, but keep your eyes peeled. Be meek as doves but wise as serpents.
God bless you.
Some time ago I met an individual I have been helping by providing them with some financial support. When I got a closer look at them I realized they were bigger than the help I was offering them. They deserved better, and I wasn’t the one to give them the greener pastures they deserved. They were supposed to go get it.
As I was meditating on these things the following words came to my mind, “you are where you are because I have been giving you a palliative. Henceforth I will no longer give that to you and you will be able to go for the real thing.” This is how I got the inspiration for this post.
Some people are where they are today because they settled for a palliative and forgot the real thing. A palliative is anything that stops you from going for the original or permanent solution. Sometimes we quickly settle for things that make us feel good for a time or season only to realize later that we are missing out on a lot of things.
Why do people accept palliatives?
When we do not have the mind-set of an achiever or world-changer. When we easily get satisfied with mediocre results.
The price to pay for a permanent solution may seem too high and unreachable.
When we are in a hurry to satisfy our desires and are not ready to be patient and get the real deal.
Ignorance about what is ours and the right we have to take possession of it. Did God not say it is ignorance that makes us perish (Hosea 4:6)?
When the palliative offers temporary satisfaction that is very similar to what we originally dreamed of.
Don’t make of that place, situation, job or position your permanent habitation if God has promised you more. I refuse to go back to Egypt but I equally will not settle in the wilderness. I will enter Canaan no matter how many giants are there. I refuse to be satisfied with less than what God has promised.
What will you do if you found out that the person who helped you get a break in life has become jealous and bitter because of your success? Such people can lead you to a sense of guilt and a false sense of responsibility. They give the impression that everything you own is somehow theirs because “they helped you get it.” Every time you spend a dollar on yourself, you feel guilty as if you were spending their money.
You feel obliged to take care of their every whim and to be always at their beck and call. They really make life miserable for you.
Don’t get me wrong, we are supposed to show gratitude and love to those who have been so good to us in the past.God demands it and it is good moral behavior. But if all my life I have to deal with someone who is breathing down the back of my neck and telling me how to spend every dime I earn, it becomes a problem.
Nobody can take credit for what you have become in life. You are where you are today because God blessed you and crowned their own effort in your life with success. There is joy in the fact that you invested in someone and they succeeded. We do not need to wish we were in their shoes or be bitter because they have become what we did not imagine.
If you are currently wilting under such a situation, be courageous enough to tell the person in question the truth. They should allow you to show gratitude to them without putting pressure on you. They should not think they have to push you around just because they gave you some money “ten years ago.” Refuse to live under servitude because you once had a benefactor, ” God is the ultimate benefactor.” God Himself has never subjected anyone to slavery just because His Son died on the cross for them.
Feel free to say no and don’t live the rest of your life miserably, afraid to enjoy yourself because you once accepted help from somebody. Do not carry along a false sense of responsibility towards people who have become lazy because they know they can manipulate you to get what they want. Be free in Jesus name.
Do you know that many of us do not know what to do with God’s love? It is so great, so overwhelming that we cry out like peter, “depart from me Lord, I am a sinner (Luke 5:8)” because we do not feel worthy of it. It pushes us to want to do something to pay God back for such great grace and favour we have received.
Calm down beloved of the Lord. You Father’s love is not for sale. There is nothing in the world that is precious enough to buy an ounce of that love. You do not need to be prettier, richer or more pious to deserve it. While you were yet dead in sin, he loved you the same (Romans 5:8). What more of now that you have accepted to be a member of His household? Will He not shower even more of it? God is love, He cannot help it and all you need to do is accept it and learn to love Him in return.
IT CAN’T BE PETER
(Too good to be true)
The events in Acts chapter 12 about Peter’s imprisonment and release are quite telling about our attitude to prayer and receiving answers to our prayers. Is it possible to pray fervently for something and when the answer stands at your door, you fail to recognise it? It seems so, as can be seen from Peter’s story.
Herod got Peter imprisoned. The church interceded fervently with sweat and tears for his release. Now, one evening, while they yet prayed, a servant girl answered the door and came with the news that Peter is standing at the door. She did not immediately open the door, the first sign of unbelief. She probably needed someone to confirm to her that the answer to her prayer was staring at her in the face, waiting to be taken in. Now, she is just a servant, perhaps not versed in the ways of God. What about the church itself? They conclude that Rhoda must be beside herself. They simply refuse to believe that somehow, God has answered their prayer. It just can’t be Peter. So what on earth have they been expecting from God, that he should say no? Why bother to pray if you do not think God is going to answer your prayer? If Rhoda, the bearer of the good news looked too stupid to be believed, it is because these prayer warriors had a preconceived idea as to how God was going to answer their prayer.
Beloved, the ways of God are so much higher than ours. While you pray, bear it in mind that the answer can come in any form and from any quarters. From this story it is obvious that sometimes, for one reason or the other we fail to recognise the baby we have with so much effort pushed out of the birth canal. God’s blessings do come in packages we do not recognise and all we need to know is that our God is so immense and full of variety. We must never tie him down to the level of our limited minds.