My grass could get greener too

I spent years of my life looking over at the greener grass on the other side of the river.

Then one day I realized mine could get greener too.

Now, I’m too busy working on my grass to notice that theirs is greener.

My Grass could get Greener too

I spent years of my life looking over at the green grass on the other side of the river.

Then one day, I decided to try working on mine. I made a facsinating discovery. Mine can get greener too if I care to work on it.

Today, I’m too busy working on my grass to even notice that theirs is greener.

Moving on or moving away?

Sometimes, we have to move away physically for our hearts to heal.

At other times, we just stay on but let our hearts move on in forgiveness.

Sometimes the pain goes away.

At other times we learn to live victoriously in spite of the pain.

We can’t run away from every monster in life. Sometimes you have to kill that monster and take back your treasure.

A season for emotional healing

 

 

Yes, that is what Christmas means to me this year; a season for emotional healing.

This because this year, this particular Christmas season, God has led me to help so many people who are in bondage because of past hurts and wounds incurred in the past.

I have had to help people get up from the fall of financial bankruptcy, disappointments in relationships, broken homes, family strife, divorce and the trauma caused by shameful experiences of the past.

What is your own story? Have you been abused, ostracized, rejected, hated, ridiculed and insulted?

Do not give up on life, there are still good people out there. Do not give up on yourself, you still have much to give out to the world. Do not give up on God, because He will never give up on you.

Yes, someone hurt you in the past. But they do not deserve that you continue suffering for their sake. Face that pain squarely and tell it ” I’m not letting you kill me…I’m bigger than this…I’m not done with life yet…”

Do not take that hurt into the new year. I challenge you to lay it down at the feet of your Savior, Jesus. Dare to speak out…share it with someone who cares. It will lift off some of the pain. Face that person and tell them what they did wasn’t right. If they acknowledge it, good, if not, you would have taken a load off your chest.

Just do something about it.

Shalom, Gretiana

 

 

Experiences and our faith

 

One of the things that pose an obstacle to our faith is our past experiences.

You’ve seen it happen before. You’ve been through that hell before.

Now, when God tells you it could be different this time you find it hard to believe because you are haunted by past experiences.

God is always doing a new thing and it is in our own interest to key in to whatever He is doing and not stay prisoners of our past experiences.

Yes, we unavoidably learn from past experiences and they teach us wisdom. But we must never become too wise for God to handle.

When it comes to trusting God, we must let go of any thing that is a hindrance to our faith, including the fear of “it could happen again” in the negative sense of the that expression.

Now, be careful not to fall into the same ditch again, but be careful also not to miss your miracle because of that old ditch.

Get out of that rut you call “my experiences” and live again.

Shalom, Gretiana.

Thank God I’m back

Thank God I’m back on board. I’ve been away from my beautiful friends, followers and viewers that you are for over three months.

It’s not been easy at all; it’s been a combination of trials,  and triumphs, celebration and falling face down before God because of a number of challenges and unanswered questions.

But if I’m back, it is a testimony and I really want to Thank the Lord.

I’m so elated to meet you again my friends. I missed you so very badly. I come back more determined and especially more mature because God has been giving me some bones to chew.Thank you all.

 

Lord, if it be your will take this away…

 

If you’ve never been there, then you’re never going to really understand what is at stake in their life; so why not just pray for them and leave it at that?

Why not just hold back that comment and observe instead?

They may not be as complacent as you think.

They may be spending sleepless nights over it.

They may be in the middle of a fast because of it.

They might have begged God a hundred times to take that thing away.

Perhaps they’ve got their lessons to learn;

Perhaps it’s a thorn in their flesh they have to live with;

Perhaps their faith is being tried;

Perhaps….God alone knows why.

Do not put that label on them;

Do not make that conclusion you are about to make;

Do not judge, categorize and condemn.

Rather, ask from God the wisdom and discernment to see beyond the physical,

Then you may begin to understand what they are having to endure.

 

 

Never become too spiritual for God to handle

No matter what happens…

Admire people who have been through a lot and still keep their head up. Head Up! Even though you are going through a tough time. This is a must attitude during healing journey. Image credit : Pixabay – PublicDomainPictures

via Quote of the day # 17 : Head Up — Rebellious Scapegoat

Dare to look away…

You have a choice

Moving on…not easy but very necessary

“Lord, are you ashamed of me now?”

December 13^th; a long awaited day; an anticipated day. How I longed to join the list of my predecessors who had sat on tables and signed out book; their books, their own creation, a piece of themselves given out to the readership.

The day came and went, but alas! New reality was about to hit me in the face.

I love meeting with God outdoors. The trees, the flowers, the butterflies, the green grass, the fresh breeze…there’s something about these that just draw me so close to my Maker, my Creator.

But on this fateful day I wasn’t basking in His love as usual. I wasn’t sitting there, awe-stricken by the beauty of His creation. I was looking for something to hold onto. I was worried. I needed validation from the one in whose name I’d done what I did.

“Lord, are you also ashamed of me?”

“Why are they looking at me like that? Why are my friends avoiding me? Why the weird look on their faces? Why are they “unfriending” me on Face book? Why do my own family relations desire to ask me questions after reading those books, Lord?

Did I say things that hurt them? Did I give away too much of myself? Was I too transparent? Lord, why are they ashamed to identify with me now?

Lord, are you also ashamed of me? Are you ashamed of me because I said too much about the messes, failures, frailties and struggles of my past?

I wish I hadn’t added that little detail. I wish I’d kept this one secret. How I hate myself for having talked about that thing I did. I shouldn’t have exposed what they did to me”

Genuinely speaking, I was full of regret about lots of things I’d said in those books.

The great testimonies I got from some of my readers couldn’t compensate for the strange reactions I was receiving from close friends and relations. I was beaten down by shame and regret. I’d given away too much and it was too late to take it back.

At least that’s how I felt that day.

I really thought God must be very ashamed of me for exposing my past messiness and bringing dishonor to His HOLY NAME.

Then, came the lever out of hell. These are the words I wrote in my journal that day:

“What matters to me is not the size of my bank account, how beautiful and admired I am, how accepted I am. What matters to me is making a difference in people’s lives.

What is the use of having a bank account that’s full to the brim or a spotless name when you can’t give hope to desperate people around you? I won’t hold back or run now? I won’t fear to speak out. I can’t disown my past.

My past is my ministry and my ministry is my past. To disown my past is to disown my ministry and I can’t do that. I’ll rather be rejected and ostracized than shut up and watch people perish.

God has called me to use my past as a message to pull people out of their mess. I’m proud to be a world-changer, a person whose contribution is making the world a better place for us all”.

The Lord spoke to me. He held me in His arms and told me He was proud of me because I’d accepted to lay down my pride, dignity and name for the lost. It’s a sacrifice, a bitter and embarrassing sacrifice. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

Jesus showed us the example by accepting the shame of the CROSS. Will you lay down your name, fame, gain, pride and dignity in order to put a smile on that tear-stained face?

God is asking you today.

 

 

Be alert and of a sober mind (1 Peter 5:8)

Yes, he is seeking whom to devour. I got up this morning with a great motivation to spend a day fasting, praying and seeking God for direction in my life.

Then the ancient serpent showed up. As soon as I opened my door, my neighbor fell on me with insults.

It almost robbed me of my date with God. But as pondered on the issue trying to figure out just where I went wrong, my Daddy just reminded me that the devil is mad because I’m going on a date with Him.

The devil like a roaring lion is always roaming around looking for whom to devour. May you never be his victim. Remember, We are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:11).

 

 

What good can possibly come out of this hell hole?

Have you ever had to ask yourself this question? Especially when the hell you’re going through doesn’t look like anything positive can possibly come out of there?

Before I met my narcissist partner I was all insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-confidence….and all the lows you can imagine.

In fact I really felt so bad about myself; when he came love-bombing me I thought I’ve got the lever out of hell. He made me feel like a queen. But then, the bomb fell. He showed his hidden colors.

It was like I’d been taken up Mount Everest and then let down to crash into the rocks down the valley. I was in a worse state than he met me. Then I thought “If I do what he wants, he’ll stay and be the man he used to be”. All my efforts where but in vain.

Then the therapy started. I started searching for help; what kind of man can possible do this to a woman. Then I discovered narcissism. I studied it; I dissected it and labeled its parts. And then I knew the disease I’ve been suffering from.

When the diagnosis is correct, there is hope yet for the victim.

I’ve been on the healing journey and I just want to let the world know this;

• I’ve been healed of more than just the narcissistic abuse. Learning to get over it has helped me to build my self-confidence, self-worth and a sense of purpose and direction in life.
• I know what I want and I’m ready to go for it. I won’t settle for less.
• I’ve learned to take care of myself: feeding, dressing, relationships, relaxation…I really feel stronger and more confident than ever before.

He took me up Mount Everest and let me come crashing down. Once I had my back on the ground, I had no other option but to start a slow but steady climb to victory. I love the new me; I just love it here where I am.

Thank you Mr. narcissist. What you meant for evil, God has turned it for my good.